Infantino designed “bag slings” that were unsafe, and which managed to lose most of the benefits associated with babywearing by slinging the babies down by the hip like an accessory, rather than making them the center of your world tight against your chest and in your line of vision.

When the Infantino bag slings in question were recalled, strangers began warning me that I was endangering my baby when I wore her in the grocery store, on a walk, or at the park.  Well meaning advice, I’m sure, but it illustrates the problem.  The recall threw babywearing into a bad–a deadly–light.   So much so that one of the oldest, best, and most popular brands of SAFE, COMFY, BEAUTIFUL mom-designed baby carriers is off the market.  Hotslings has officially closed its doors, not due to any fault in its products, but because of that misunderstanding that could lump such disparate carriers as the bag sling and the pouch carrier into one, harmful, category.

With Infantino taking the lead on creating industry standards, every other good baby carrier is in jeapardy of becoming illegal.  Infantino has no concept of what contributes to safe babywearing or the benefits that can be derived from it.

And that is when the Baby Carrier Industry Alliance (BCIA) was formed by the mothers and fathers behind some of the most innovative and well-loved baby carriers available, to set the standards for babywearing devices before the companies that are home-based, and which started out home-based (like Hotslings) can be edged out of the market leaving us with such slim pickings as you can find at your local BabiesRUs store . . .

If we let Infantino run this show, parents’ choices in the United States will narrow to Infantino style carriers.  We can do better, our babies deserve better.  This organization can save lives.

Well, I tried some rebozo front carries with Annabelle when she was littler, and it was never as easy, adjustable, or intuitive (for me) as a longer wrap so I pretty much stuck with longer wraps.

Because I love playing with wraps and trying new things, I tried a rebozo back carry a few weeks ago and it was REALLY GOOD!  As someone who is familiar with wrap back carries, I found the rebozo carry very similar and easy to manage.  The diagonal length of fabric across my back, tied in front, is just like many a back carry with a longer wrap.

I think my hang-up with the front carry is that I have to A) reach around my big ole baby to tie it, and B) I don’t have two wrap ends to pull on for tightening or adjustment.  Both of those problems are non-existent with the back carry.  As a dedicated wrapper living in hot, humid, Florida, I should really work on those rebozo chops.  For now, I’m pretty stoked about the back carry, though!

Don’t worry, I made her cupcakes and took her miniature golfing, but that was in the evening, and in the morning I had my Moms’ Circle with a whole ‘nother bunch of moms.

It was a small group, and we all enjoyed the intimacy.  I think there were six of us?  Seven?  I’ve just thought about everyone who was there and now I think there were ten of us.  Plus babies and kids.  I guess our group has grown enough that ten feels like an intimate gathering!  I had a lovely time.  To top it off, the church that we meet in left muffins.  Lots of decadent muffins.  I ate one and took four home to my husband, so he can no longer claim to be the sole provider.

One of our members told us about a friend who just had a baby in the hospital and was still there because the baby had not been released.  Something about jaundice.  And as a result of the hospital’s urging, the baby was not nursing (but was drinking mama’s expressed milk) or being held.  As women who are well-educated on the importance and value of human contact for newborns (and people of all ages, for that matter), we all felt some outrage on behalf of this newly-formed dyad.  The issue at hand, though, really, in our meeting, was that the mom who is part of our group needed to have our emotional support, and to be listened to, about the situation that was hurting her heart.  Her friend’s situation troubled her, and we were here to help her bear her troubles.

Interestingly, the next topic we broached, with seemingly unrelated subject matter, had very similar dynamics.  A second mom at the group Wednesday was emotionally hurting because she had been asked not to nurse her baby at an upcoming family wedding.

Emotionally, when anyone–but especially family or loved ones–imply that your lifestyle choices are socially unacceptable, or something to be embarrassed about . . . this is very hurtful.  Yes, even when you are confident in your choices, or perhaps especially then.  Imagine that you were asked to take off your cross and not mention Christianity while at a family dinner.  Or suppose that you were welcome to Thanksgiving dinner, as long as you and your same-sex partner did not hold hands or show affection to each other.  Physically these requests might be easy to comply with.  Spiritually, doing so–or letting the requester believe you were doing so–would compromise your integrity.  And simply by making the request, the relationship has been altered.

Now maybe her son would not get hungry during the wedding and it wouldn’t come up.  Maybe you weren’t going to mention religion either, because the conversation wasn’t going that way.  Or perhaps you even planned to keep your nursing relationship, religion, or orientation under wraps at the event because you knew someone involved was uncomfortable with it and you wanted to avoid touchy subjects.  All that is perfectly valid.  But when the other person requests that you do so, that is a very different matter.  It might mean that you cannot attend the event.  In this case, it did mean that she needed support from people who understood.

Sadly, the family members making the request (and I should add that the request was more of a politely-worded ultimatum) probably did not realize that it was rude or hurtful.  They probably think she is being unreasonable.  I hope they can try putting themselves in that situation with something that is important to them.  We can all benefit from thinking about the viewpoints of others now and then.  But even more important than that is really knowing yourself and your own boundaries.  Then it’s much easier to hold your position, and you can do so in the most loving and non-antagonistic of manners.

We had other topics too, apart from emotional support.  Mary wanted the scoop on cloth diapers, particularly for a big one year old boy.  We shared some suggestions and advised her to check some out in person to see what she liked.  Krisha needed to talk about her current adventures in nighttime parenting to work out her priorities.

We had fun discussion and then worked on some wrapping.  Krisha is seeking a back carry that is comfortable and hasn’t quite found it yet.  She’s going to practice doing the Double Hammock Carry efficiently (tightly) enough that she’ll have enough wrap left to cross over the front instead of doing rucksack straps, as the rucksack straps are not comfortable for her.  She’s also going to try tightening Back Wrap Cross Carry straps evenly so that she does not end up with pressure points in that carry, and she’s going to be more careful about placement of the straps on her shoulder–away from her neck, but perhaps not so far over the ball of her shoulder.  Next week I’ll find out if she reached wrap nirvana with any of these tweaks!

If you’re new to babywearing on your back, you and your baby both need to become comfortable with it.

If you are worried or uncertain, your baby will be worried and is likely to cry.

I recommend practicing without the wrap.  The best place is where you and your baby can both see yourselves in a mirror.   This helps you to know what’s happening, and is a source of entertainment.   If you are not certain you can keep your baby from dropping, of course you must begin over a bed or other soft surface, or with a spotter hovering behind you.  Soon you will find that you can smoothly and easily move your baby from your front to your back and back to the front again safely.

Make it a game for your baby or toddler.  Play around with it.  Make funny faces and funny sounds.  Shout, “Super-baby!”

If your baby becomes upset, scared, or frustrated, stop and try again another time when he or she is clearly in a playful, wide-awake, not-hungry mood!

There are several ways to get your baby onto your back.  A toddler can often climb on when you squat in front of her and offer a piggyback ride.  Otherwise you can scoot your baby or child around your hip to your back, or lift baby, rotate, and place him or her over your shoulder.  Your baby might enjoy your swinging him or her around before settling him on your back.

Look over these different methods of putting a baby on your back, and pick one to try.  See which you and your baby like best.

Videos must be submitted by midnight 31 August, 2010 (EST).

Video details:

• Videos can be any length (although if you send me a two hour home video I might not actually watch the whole thing) and you can submit as many as you like (or upload several clips as one video).
• Videos should be unedited.  Please do not add subtitles, effects, etc (so that all submissions can more easily be integrated into a cohesive babywearing video)
• Videos can show the process of getting wrapped up, have someone already wrapped up, show the wrap used as a towel, hammock, or high chair.  It can involve sibling-wearing, or teddy-bear wearing.  The more variety the better!
• Content should be primarily visual and not depend on dialogue.

Submission details:

1. To submit a video, upload it on YouTube (you will have to create an account).
2. Send an email to diana@wrapyourbaby.com with a link to your uploaded video.  Include your name and mailing address (in case you win the prize!)
3. When I receive your email I will link your video to the WrapYourBaby Channel on YouTube so that all video submissions can be viewed there.

Prize details:

• I will pick the winning entry.  I will be looking for a video (or piece of one) that captures the coziness, closeness, cuteness, or convenience, the fun, funniness, or fabulousness of baby wrapping.  The winning entry might as easily involve a dozing newborn or an energetic toddler.  It might be set in your livingroom, or at the Grand Canyon.  Length of video will not be a determining factor.
• Winner will receive their choice of:
  Hand embroidered Chinese Mei Tai (EllaRoo) – I think these sold for $150
  Moby wrap (stretchy wrap) – $40 value
  Gypsymama Water Wrap – $61 value
• Winner will be announced by Monday, 6 September 2010 and will be notified via email.
• All approved videos may be represented on a compilation video demonstrating the spirit of babywearing and the benefits of wraparound baby carriers.

Legal details:

• Videos must be your original work and belong solely to you  (any footage that contains brand logos, or copyrighted images will not be used in the compilation video).
• The content of all submitted videos will become the property of Wrap Your Baby (Baby Earthling LLC) and can be used for promotional purposes.  The content of the videos may be edited.
• I reserve the right to disqualify any video for any reason.

Testing Our Reflexes

Along with several new moms (new to our group, that is) and a sizable gathering of really wonderful moms and babies that were a joy to be around, we had a guest speaker today who discussed the important of infant reflexes, and their lifelong repercussions.  Myra Moyryla explained how she determines whether a specific reflex needs work in a person of any age, and how the reflexes can be integrated (at any age), in such a way that the individual gains the control and comfort that was missed at some point in their development.

As Myra described some of the typical behavior one can expect from people who missed a normal reflex development, people in our group kept piping up with, “That’s my husband, exactly!” or, “Now I know why I…”  It seemed to really make sense to a lot of people.

Myra also led us in some simple exercises to determine what reflexes of our own might need work.  She told us how, in her work with Masgutova Neuro-sensory-motor reflex integration, she has seen many people resolve lifelong issues, some quite visually dramatic, and others that may have successfully hidden their difficulties behind a social veneer but now are able to really live the easy comfort they have been pretending.

Her talk really reinforced the importance of trusting baby bodies to do the important things they need to do, and to support them in their development with bodily contact and freedom of motion so that they can experience and integrate the biologically appropriate reflexes when appropriate.  She warned that the trend of putting babies in containers endangers their smooth evolution towards comfortable, well-balanced, confident adulthood.

And on that note, we got to the babywearing:

Dana wearing 1 year old Jocelyn in a rebozo hip carry

Upright in a ring sling--exact same position as with a rebozo, but this baby is on the front (tummy to tummy) instead of on the hip as in the above photo

Laura accomplishes a back carry!

I ship the cheapest way I can, because I hate paying for shipping and think most of you probably do, too.  If I can, I fit a wrap into a flat-rate priority mail envelope (which is a fast service, as well, at 2-3 business days).  Sometimes this involves some squeezing and jamming of the wrap.  As wraps are pieces of fabric, I feel fairly comfortable doing this.  Sometimes an instructional DVD is included and I have not yet had one damaged, but I would hope that a customer would let me know right away if anything made it to them in less than intact shape so that I could replace it.

Some of the wraps cannot fit into the flat rate envelope and Priority Mail is not always the cheapest method.  Storchenwieges are much bulkier than the other wraps I sell, for example.  When this is the case, another method of shipping will be chosen.

I’ve recently added International shipping option to my website.  For now, it’s going to be $8 extra if I can fit the wrap in the flat-rate Priority Mail envelope.  If not, I will contact the customer to let them know that there will be an additional cost.

For International orders, add your desired item or items to the shopping cart and then go to the shipping page to add “International Shipping” to the cart.  Place your order and if any additional payment is necessary I will contact you to discuss it.

Let me know what you think, and whether my shipping policy meets your needs well enough!  Email me or comment here with suggestions.

We discussed how to make sure our weekly meetings were friendly to toddlers and big kids and their mothers, as well as babies.  We realized that there had been an expectation that the children stay (relatively) quiet, and remain in the part of the room with the toys, so that the mothers and babies in arms could maintain a (relatively) peaceful circle of discussion.

While this doesn’t sound outrageous, the very relationship that we encourage mothers to develop with their infants is just as valuable as the infant grows, learns to walk (and run) and talk (and yell).  Because we want to avoid situations and environments in which our children must be disciplined to act in a way that was not easy for them, this group meeting was proving disruptive of family relationships for some of the moms.

So it was important to discuss what was expected by the church that hosts our group, what was necessary to make it possible for the mothers to share experiences with each other (the function of the group), what was important to the moms as far as freedoms and safety for their children and for the babies.  By clarifying actual group expectations we could discard those we had assumed were in place that might not have been important to the group, and at the same time everyone in the group is now aware of what is expected of the kids.  That way we all know what the rules are that the group is comfortable with and can choose to be part of the group without worrying about whether our children are too disruptive.

Along the way we concluded that interruptions by toddlers, and continual gentle mothering of them throughout the meetings was valuable not only to the mother and child, but to the new moms whose infants were still in arms, and to all of the other mothers as each interaction is an example from which we can all take or leave the elements that we see working or that appeal to our parenting styles.

We discussed cloth diapers for Jennifer who is pregnant now, and discussed nighttime diapering for Amy, whose son leaks through cloth or disposables at night (luckily another mom of a boy figured out the anatomical problem and solution).

We discussed wrapping (yay!), including what position a tiny infant’s legs should be in, Shelby wanted to get her toddler wrapped up in a back wrap cross carry tied over her new baby bump.  Anna wanted instruction on a good rucksack carry.  Jennifer tried out a front cross carry (Belle was happy to accommodate).

Naomi and Anna in a Rucksack Carry

Jennifer trying out a baby and a Front Cross Carry

Amy and Shawn in a Short Front Cross Carry

Rucksack Carry crossed over chest

Most back carries with a wrap will have either rucksack straps (the wrap comes straight down from your shoulder and goes underneath the same arm like a backpack–or vice versa, from under one arm to over the same shoulder) or are crossed across the chest so the wrap goes from over one shoulder to under the opposite arm.

A lot of people like rucksack straps because it saves having to find a way to spread the wrap across your chest without looking funny.  A lot of people like rucksack straps because they’re cooler, and use a little less fabric.

Some people don’t like rucksack straps because they pinch, or cut off circulation, or feel like they’re going to slip off your shoulders.  It varies by individual.

If you are not comfortable with rucksack straps, do the same carry but cross over your breasts instead of doing rucksack straps.  If your wrap is long enough, you can also tie tibetan to pull the straps together in the center and relieve any pressure or prevent slippage.

Conversely, if you do not care for a cross in the front, you can still do your favorite, traditionally crossed, carry, but use rucksack straps instead of a cross.

Today I took advantage of the versatility of a wrap to switch from rucksack straps to crossed in front.  Belle was asleep in a short Double Hammock Carry (tied under the bum) and after a while my arms started to feel tingly, even though I am usually completely comfortable with rucksack straps.  I switched to crossed and she stayed up there for another hour.

Double Hammock Carry crossed over chest

Back Wrap Cross Carry with rucksack straps

2.5 year old

first you find the middle

then you throw yourself over your kid after running around in the livingroom trying to catch him

lift him by the arms

fly him up and TRY to put him on your back

finally!

bend forward and spread the toddlers legs so that he wraps them around your back

push the fabric under his bum all the way to the knees

pull the fabric straight forward to tighten the "belt" (no he's not sleeping hehe)

squeeze one end of the wrap between your thighs

Grab the upper rim of the other . . .

and put it over your arm and shoulder . . .

and bring the wrap around the toddler's back

spread the wrap

tighten well and bring the wrapend under the toddler's foot and squeeze it with your thighs

do the same thing

make a comfortable shoulder

voila!

now you can rock on!!