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Moms’ Circle, June 2 2010

A lot of our questions overlapped today, which is handy for fitting everything in.  Tina and Ainsley wanted to know about discipline for their older girls, and how to handle behavior that seems inappropriate without behaving inappropriately themselves . . .

. . . and, how to answer family members who tell us we’re doing it all wrong!  A lot of us had some strong opinions about that.  In fact, I came right home and wrote the post below this about my spoiled baby as a rebuttal to the very notion of family members implying that love and attention could spoil anyone!  Susan had a great point that trying to convince people just invites more debate, whereas flatly stating, “I’m the mom and these are the choices I am making for my children,” is the most effective way to put a stop to the criticism.

And the discipline question?  Evelyn shared her experiences and the results with her now grown children.  Several of us had similar experiences.  In a nutshell, firmly forbidding our young children to do something has proved ineffective, while taking care of the needs children may not realize they are acting out about, and working to restore the connection and communication between parent and child, have always improved behavior and relationships.

At what age do children learn to mind their parents, Ainsley optimistically asks.  Ha!  Human beings naturally rebel against being controlled as we want to control ourselves.  Turns out children are human beings!  So, it’s continuing to create a safe, close, and loving relationship that lessens rebellion and promotes “minding.”

Amanda came to our group for the first time with her gorgeous daughter Naima and had plenty to share herself, while asking for help with her baby wrap, and ideas for continuing to co-sleep with her little miss bed-hog.  She got both, the former from Lindsay who helped her and Naima get into a killer Front Cross Carry in their BB-Slen wrap, and she suggested her own co-sleeping suggestion–turning her baby’s as-yet-unused crib into a sidecar for more room.

Tawny and Susan reassured Anna on her newborn’s breastfeeding quirks and advised Amanda to hand express milk to relieve engorgement instead of pumping, which would just encourage her body to continue overproducing.  Although a happy byproduct of that oversupply was some pumped milk for Susan to bring to a local mom in need of milk for her baby.

Anna worried about her baby crying on car rides and there was a lot of sympathy from those of us who have been there (or are still there).  Lots of suggestions, and things to try, and assurances that this too shall pass.

Oh, and Lindsay got her new Bali Baby Breeze Haumea!

Tags: local babywearing group