Sometimes a parent puts a little baby into a wrap carry and the baby disappears down into the fabric. This can be upsetting to the baby and, most importantly, is dangerous. You should always be able to see your baby’s face. Your baby’s head should be high on your chest (in a front carry). And your baby needs fresh air to breathe.
Next, realize that your wrap is probably wide enough for a toddler, and that width may be swallowing up a little baby. I personally like a wide wrap with a little baby. The width is nice to have when you know how to use it. You can choose where to spread it, and where to bunch it. In the pictures below, the wide, alternating stripes of orange, green, yellow, and red, make it easy to see where I’ve bunched and spread the wrap.
The middle two stripes are spread, and the outer edges are bunched.
The upper half of the wrap is spread, the two lower stripes are bunched.
The lower half of the wrap is spread, with the top half bunched.
The wrap can also be evenly bunched over baby. The trick is to make sure that the tightness along the length (from your shoulder to opposite hip) is uniform no matter how it is bunched. And if you find that the edges (orange and red stripes in above wrap) are tight enough, check to see if the middle of the wrap is also pulled tightly, otherwise you may have too deep a pouch that your baby can sink down into.
Another thing that you can do to keep your baby above water, is just to poke out one of your baby’s arms. My tiny infant often slept against me with the wrap supporting her head while one arm and shoulder hung out. When awake, both arms can be out if the baby is supporting his or her own head.
First, put your arm around your baby in the wrap and hold your baby at the position that you want him or her to be held. While holding your baby right there with one hand, use the other hand to pull the fabric of the wrap tight so that it will hold your baby right there. After tightening and tying the wrap, when you take your arm away from baby, your baby should not sink lower or change position. If the baby’s position changed, you did not take all of the slack out of the wrap. Try again.
This holding and tightening is demonstrated here in a front cross carry:
Holding baby with one hand to find the slack in the wrap.
Pull on the slack for a snug fit.
I pull the slack all the way around to the knot and retie.
And I have a very serviceable video showing the same technique here:
One detail to note is that the width of the wrap can be tightened all together, as above, but one can also tighten just certain strands. The wrap pictured above has four colored stripes: orange, green, yellow and red. You could tighten just along the orange stripe, or any one of those colors, or more than one together. For example, the green and yellow stripes (the center) might need to be tightened if baby is sinking too far down, while the edges–the orange and red–might be sufficiently tight already.
You will know where to tighten because you are taking up all the slack until the wrap is nice and evenly snug all around your baby.
This post is just for Dannette, who wants to know how to wrap up her two year old. First, I recommend a back carry. By this age it gets unwieldy to wear them on the front and a back carry is more comfortable than a hip carry.
If your son is going to want to go up and down a lot, I recommend the Rucksack Carry, as it is the fastest to get up and down. It is also great for the Summer with only one layer of wrap over your toddler. This is the one I used when we were at the zoo when Ada was two and three years old. Her legs would get tired so up she’d go. A few minutes later she’d see something interesting and down she’d come. A few minutes later she wanted to be carried again…
Or the Rucksack can be done with a short wrap (rebozo), and simply tied under your child’s bottom, instead of brought back around to the front to tie. This way there is nothing going around your waist and you have less wrap to carry while your toddler is not up. Here we are with a Rucksack tied under the bottom at the zoo when Ada was two:
For longer wearing, say if you expect him to stay wrapped up for a hike, a grocery trip, or if you expect him to fall asleep, a multi-layered carry might prove more comfortable in the long run. Whereas the rucksack Carry supports your child with one layer of fabric, other carries that wrap around your child more than once often feel more supportive for a heavier child. Try one of these:
The Double Hammock Carry is my favorite with a little baby, but it is extremely supportive with a bigger child as well. The weight of your child is spread across your entire torso, waist, and both shoulders. In this video I demonstrate the DHC with a sleeping toddler: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0h-QqZms9Qw
The Back Wrap Cross Carry is also very supportive, but the child may ride lower on your back, and not be able to see over your shoulders. It’s great for a sleeping big kid, and I demonstrate it with a four year old girl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx_7rpzmDwY
Take a deep breath and remember that some people are completely unfamiliar with babywearing. The most important thing is not to let them upset you. The best thing would be to let them see how wonderful babywearing is. But the key is “let them.” People are rarely persuaded by force!
Sometimes a casual, heartfelt comment hits a lot deeper than a list of resources or a defensive rebuttal.
Try out these simple, non-confrontational explanations of babywearing, and make them your own by talking up the biggest general benefit that you, personally, have enjoyed.
My baby’s happier this way, and that makes me happier!
Babywearing makes things easier for me.
I love showing off my baby and this way I can take her everywhere with me!
My baby enjoys this so much more than the stroller.
This way I don’t have to lug around that heavy carseat.
After going through labor, I think I deserve to keep my baby close!
Wearing her is so much easier on me, physically.
And, in response to any suggestion of a negative effect of babywearing (ie spoiling), you can always reply that babywearing is working great for you right now and you’ll make any changes if and when they become necessary!
Due to the seventeen thousand obscene spam comments posted in one day to this article in it’s original incarnation, I had to delete the original post and am reprinting the text here. AND, all comments will now require approval prior to posting! Here’s the blog post again for all the real readers:
It’s not that I don’t think moms everywhere can use all the help they can get. As far as I’m concerned, mothering is the most valuable job there is and I don’t know a single mother who thinks it’s easy.
So I apologize in advance to all the moms who carry around the infant car seat, but I don’t think we should make it easier to carry!
Flying Falcon Car Seat Harness
Holding your baby is one of the best things you can do for your baby. Sure, this culture makes it difficult sometimes. While driving, for example. And that’s why the car seat was invented. But putting a handle on it was going too far, and putting a strap on it is another step in the wrong direction.
Instead of making it easier to keep your baby at arms length, maybe we should brainstorm ways to make it easier to hold your baby. Instead of making it more convenient to mistreat your body by carrying one of these heavy, unwieldy contraptions, perhaps we should rethink the lifestyle that requires it.
I do not condemn a parent for using the infant car seat to carry their baby. But it’s an inconvenience that should remain inconvenient to encourage us to find a better way
Arguments for the car seat harness:
It won’t increase infant seat use, just make it easier for when it is used. I disagree–new moms are bombarded with gadgets to make their lives easier that really won’t. And those gadgets get in the way of their finding out about the simple things that can make a difference…like a functional baby carrier.
It’s easier on mother and baby to let the baby continue sleeping peacefully when you get to your destination. Easier, maybe, but not better. Most babies can be transferred easily from carseat to a wraparound baby carrier without waking up, or will settle right back to sleep with their heads against our hearts. For those who insist that their baby will wake up and scream through the entire errand, may I recommend learning to nurse in the wrap? It’s a rare baby who isn’t appeased by the boob.
With more than one young child, the infant car seat is a necessity. I applaud parents of multiple children. I want a herd myself. But the more kids you have to wrangle, the more you need your baby content and your hands free. It is the wrap, not the carseat, that will provide that. In the wrap you are not carrying significantly more weight than your baby. You have two free hands. You are able to run if need be. You can pick up an older child. You can hug other children.
You can’t wear a baby when you are pregnant. Yes you can! Much more comfortably than you can carry an infant carseat, which I would not think would be advisable while pregnant!
It makes eating in a restaurant so much easier. First, I find it very easy to eat in a restaurant while wearing my baby. If I’m eating with family, I usually don’t even get to wear her because everyone wants a turn and she is passed around. Second, even if it made it easier, it is not worth it to me. Being there for your baby, physically, is so much more valuable!
There’s no sense taking baby out of the warm carseat in frigid weather. This is the argument I am most sympathetic with. But I still wouldn’t do it. The wrap is a very warm place, and transferring baby into a pretied front carry takes less than a minute, so unless it was really cold, I would do this, and close my coat over both of us. When it’s seriously cold, I suppose one could climb into the car to transfer the baby with the door closed, if possible. Or carry the carseat inside and then remove baby, but if you’re at the mall, you still have to carry the carseat at this point! So I would expect to limit mall trips on freezing days.
Using the infant seat allows me to put my baby down and get some chores done. Hey, the wrap allows you to hold your baby AND get some chores done!
I don’t actually hold my baby constantly. I pass her off to friends and family. I put her down on a blanket on the floor or on the grass. She sleeps in our bed, not on my chest. But when we’re running errands? That’s not a time to put her down. That’s a time to keep her close.
And for those parents who find the occasional use for the infant car seat, that’s fine. But let the inconvenience of the thing give you pause to consider whether the situation really warrants it!
It became official on Thursday when I was at Busch Gardens with my girls. Annabelle was wrapped on my back in a rucksack, and I was chasing Ada from attraction to attraction when a babywearing mom ran to catch up with me and tell me that, “I told my husband it was the woman from the website!”
Mama, you made my day! And the invite to our babywearing group is always open if you ever make it closer to Dunedin! Wednesdays at 11am at the Labor of Love.
Babywearing becomes more valuable when carrying your children becomes more of a challenge. Pregnancy is such a time. You may become tired more easily, but that fact does not keep your toddler or preschooler from needing and wanting to be carried. If you are going to be carrying your child, let the wrap help you out!
When my good friend Rachel was pregnant with her second baby, baby number one was two years old. They let me take some photos of them to demonstrate wearing a toddler in a back wrap cross carry while pregnant:
Two year old in a BWCC tied under pregnant bump.
Babywearing and hanging laundry while pregnant!
BWCC supports two-year old comfortably on her mamma's back.
That was two years before my pregnancy, and the only babywearing while pregnant pictures I can find of myself are me wearing Rachel’s second daughter. Aurora is in the tummy in the photos above, and on my back in the photos below. You can just see my belly starting to bulge with Annabelle-to-be, and this is the very same wrap two years later:
Wearing a two year old while pregnant.
Rebozo one-shouldered back carry.
There are two important things to know about wrapping while pregnant:
Don’t do anything that strains your body.
Experiment with carries to find one that is comfortable for your pregnant body.
The Back Wrap Cross Carry is often a good one, as the crosses can be spread wide over the chest for comfort, the multiple passes over your child provides sturdy support for a bigger kid, and the wrap can be tied above or below the bulge.
Back carries allow your child to be carried and cuddled against you, without giving you too much of a workout, and without jeopardy of squishing the baby growing around front. Additionally, the weight on your back can actually balance out a hugely pregnant tummy and feel very comfortable for some pregnant ladies!
Recently the Infantino bag sling was recalled after some babies died in the carrier. It is terrible that deaths had to occur before this dangerous product was recalled, and it is a reminder to all parents to treasure our children and to make sure we know how to carry them safely.
Whenever you carry a newborn you must make sure that the baby’s chin is not tucked against his chest as this closes the airway so that the baby cannot breathe. A person of any age will find it easier to breathe when the neck is not folded over, and the littler the baby, the more vulnerable to this problem.
When choosing a baby carrier, avoid ones that curl babies up so that this chin-to-chest position is possible. The bag sling–unlike traditional slings–has baby sunk down in a deep pouch in a curved shape and there is nothing to protect a newborn from this unsafe positioning, or from rolling to the side so that mouth and nose can be pressed against the side of the carrier.
A good pouch, sling, or wrap should always be worn so that your baby is held tight against you–not dangling off your shoulder like a purse. Even aside from the issue of safety, all the benefits of babywearing are gained by having baby’s body pressed against yours!
Newborns can be worn in an upright position from birth to avoid being pushed into the unsafe position. As most babies prefer the upright position, it is the way I usually teach new parents to wear their wraps anyway.
However, a cradle position can be used safely if desired. If your baby seems to sink into a deep pouch of the carrier, you are probably placing your baby straight down the center, or deepest part, of the fabric. Instead of placing your baby parallel to the sides of the pouch, you should put your baby in diagonally: baby’s head should be towards the outside of the carrier and baby’s bottom should be towards your stomach. By resting baby’s head on the outer side of the pouch, it is held up (your baby’s head will be higher than his bottom and legs) where it is unlikely to be pressed against the chest and where you can clearly see to ensure that it is not!
In other words, in the striped wrap below, if I had placed my baby parallel to the stripes she would be sunk down somewhere along the purple stripe with her head on my right on the purple stripe and her bottom and legs toward my left side, still along the purple stripe. This positioning would curl her body up. Instead she is diagonal to the fabric with her head on the outer gray stripe which is much higher and this keeps her body much straighter along her spine.
Note that this was an upright carry which got lowered and tilted for purposes of nursing, but because of the stripes I felt it was perfect for the purposes of this discussion!
Cradle carry with baby's head toward the outer rail of the wrap fabric.
You should always follow these rules while babywearing:
Wear baby tight against you so that there is no possibility of rolling or turning in the carrier.
Do not cover your baby’s face with fabric–you want your baby to get plenty of oxygen and you also want to be able to see him!
Keep baby’s head from slumping forward–you should be able to fit two fingers between your baby’s chin and chest at all times.
Do not use any positioning that causes your baby’s breathing to sound labored.
Any carrier that does not allow you to follow these rules is a dangerous place to put your baby. There are several other brands of bag slings that were not involved in the recall but have the same basic design and inherent risk. Here is a good video that can help you identify dangerous carriers: Proper Infant Positioning in a Baby Sling
Babies sink down into bag slings so that their heads can curl forward onto their chests--dangerous for a little baby!
Cradle carry with a Storchenwiege Wrap holding baby's upper body (head to butt) in more of a straight line so the chin isn't tucked.
Belle is three months now, and fourteen lbs! I find that I am not wrapping her legs in anymore. They are so long and strong that they no longer seem to be part of the bundle I used to wrap. Instead of a newborn ball, Belle is unfolding into a more humanoid shape!
Front Cross Carry with Mary EllaRoo
Current favorite carries are:
still the Front Cross Carry (FCC) most often and anytime we go out because she is still nursing a lot and it is still the easiest to adjust into nursing position, and simplest for popping in and out of as we drive from errand to errand.
still Double Hammock Carry (DHC) for a back carry because it is just so easy, solid, and comfy, and I can do it with the same size wrap that I want with me for the FCC
DHC’s shorter cousin the Reinforced Rear Rebozo Rucksack (RRRR) because it’s even faster and simpler than DHC with the same sturdiness and a great high back carry for hot weather since it can be done with 3 meters
And I think maybe I’ll play with some hip carries today and keep you posted!
Last weekend we took our two kids–aged five years and just shy of three months–camping for three days! It was the Harvest of Hope Festival. It rained some serious rain the first day and night and was beautiful and muddy the next two days.
Our kids slept amazingly well in the sleeping bags as loud, drunk people shouted past and stumbled into our tent throughout the night. It was so cozy having the four of us cuddled up so closely on out tiny, portable room.
At night we all listened to the sound of rain on the canvas ceiling and walls and in the morning Belle gazed up with joy and awe at the glowing tent walls billowing in noisy wind. It was SO nice that my husband is seriously considering my crazy plan to live in a yurt in the mountains!
Belle gazing at the tent walls.
By day we weren’t much in the tent and Annabelle wasn’t much out of the wrap! I kept the Front Cross Carry tied on and out of the mud. The mud was so prevalent that there wasn’t anywhere to put a baby down when we weren’t in the campgrounds so she came out only for the occasional potty/diaper change, and to listen to Kimya Dawson’s childrens show while Ada went onstage to join the band!
Kids at Harvest of Hope 2010.
Belle listening to the concert.
Ada plays with Kimya Dawson at 2010 Harvest of Hope.
Wrapping liberated me to go camping with my kids and I am so glad!
The Double Hammock Carry is a back carry done with two rebozo passes over baby. They are like hammocks because they do not cross between baby’s legs, but support baby’s body with legs sticking out from underneath. Well, a stray comment on TheBabyWearer inspired me to try doing the Double Hammock Carry with the crosses between baby’s legs.
Verdict? It was fine. Spreading the wrap across the torso is kind of silly, though, because the wrap is bunched up from under baby’s legs as it comes around your torso, and the spreading isn’t going to be tight and supportive as it is with the standard double hammock where the wrap comes around your torso above baby’s legs and is already spread wide and flat.
I didn’t find it uncomfortable or saggy with my little baby, but I doubt it would hold up for long with a bigger child.
The front of the modified Double Hammock Carry tied with a half knot.
You can see that the wrap crosses between her legs like a Back Wrap Cross Carry.
The wrap comes from under her leg to spread out over my chest.
Sometimes as I wrap Belle she stretches her legs out to push against the bottom of the wrap. Usually she’ll eventually bend her knees and sink down some and my wrap job may not be as snug around us as I’d like, anymore. It’s easy to reach through and just bend her knees so that she is in position and I can snug the wrap job. Here it is with a Front Cross Carry:
You can see that she is standing up in this Front Cross Carry.
Reaching in under the crosses to bend her knees.
Side view of reaching under the crosses to position her legs.
I’ve recently hit upon my new favorite nursing position. I guess I’ve been wrapping Belle with legs out more often. Now I’ve found that if I start in an upright Front Cross Carry, I can get a really comfortable and rock-solid nursing position (meaning truly hands-free) every time by lifting one of the crosses out from between her legs so that she leans sideways.
Let me explain, then I’ll post some pics to clarify. I loosen the wrap a little, then lift Belle’s body so her weight’s not on the wrap, then I pull one of the crosses down from between her legs and around her body so that both legs are sticking out one side. If I’m going to nurse her on my left side, then the cross coming over my right shoulder is the one that I’ll remove from between her legs. Now that cross will be coming from my right shoulder, around her body, and around my left hip. Her cute little legs will be sticking out on my right side, with the other cross still between them, and her head will be positioned at my left breast.
And I suspect that this is one of those cases where a picture is worth a thousand words so without further explanation…
Legs sticking out of one FCC cross.
At the nursing end of the Front Cross Carry.
Something about this particular position is very easy for me to get adjusted just so and does not require adjustments thereafter so I’m what you call a fan!
Saturday my mom took Ada to spend the night with her, and David and Annabelle and I cleaned the living room. It was so nice to just dedicate myself to cleaning for an hour or so, without distractions or interruptions and it was VERY nice to have a clean living room. I’ve been taking pains all week to keep it nice because I think we’re all happier when our space looks lovely.
Wrapping Belle meant that I wasn’t interrupted by a baby needing to be picked up. Wrapping her on my back meant that I was even able to lean over the washing machine, and there was no bundle in front of me to interfere with sweeping! It also meant that Belle was a happy baby, cuddled up to her momma. Having just nursed, she happily went to sleep and my body movements kept her asleep for the duration. Lucky kid woke up to find all of the work finished!
Sweeping while Belle snoozes in a Reinforced Rear Rebozo Rucksack.
I’ve got it pretty easy. My big kid is five–a much more cooperative and responsible age than, say, three–and my little kid is only two months old, which means she’s easy to keep track of!
So shopping is not difficult. I buckle in Annabelle. Ada buckles in herself. When we get there, Ada lets herself out, carefully staying near the car, while I unbuckle Annabelle and slip her into my wrap (pretied in a front cross carry).
When we get into the store, Ada rides in the shopping cart and this is the only tricky part! With a baby wrapped on my front, it’s surprisingly difficult to lift Ada straight up and into the seat.
Out is easy. If I take the cart to our car, Ada enjoys climbing out into the trunk of our minivan and from there into her seat. I just hold the cart still. That is her preferred way but she can as easily climb out of the cart into the open side door next to her booster seat.
If we don’t take the cart into the parking lot, I just turn my back to Ada, and she climbs out of the cart onto my back and slides down. This is actually not awkward, difficult, or uncomfortable at all. I should have my husband video tape it sometime to demonstrate!
But getting Ada in the cart is difficult. I can manage it, by picking her up toward my side so as not to squash her sister, but always prefer to have her climb in without me if she can. We look for steps, or short walls that give her a boost into the cart.
It would be much easier if I had Annabelle on my back but she is almost always nursing while we run erranhds so for now, we make do.
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