All posts by: "DianaR"

Moms Circle, 11 August 2010

Testing Our Reflexes

Along with several new moms (new to our group, that is) and a sizable gathering of really wonderful moms and babies that were a joy to be around, we had a guest speaker today who discussed the important of infant reflexes, and their lifelong repercussions.  Myra Moyryla explained how she determines whether a specific reflex needs work in a person of any age, and how the reflexes can be integrated (at any age), in such a way that the individual gains the control and comfort that was missed at some point in their development.

As Myra described some of the typical behavior one can expect from people who missed a normal reflex development, people in our group kept piping up with, “That’s my husband, exactly!” or, “Now I know why I…”  It seemed to really make sense to a lot of people.

Myra also led us in some simple exercises to determine what reflexes of our own might need work.  She told us how, in her work with Masgutova Neuro-sensory-motor reflex integration, she has seen many people resolve lifelong issues, some quite visually dramatic, and others that may have successfully hidden their difficulties behind a social veneer but now are able to really live the easy comfort they have been pretending.

Her talk really reinforced the importance of trusting baby bodies to do the important things they need to do, and to support them in their development with bodily contact and freedom of motion so that they can experience and integrate the biologically appropriate reflexes when appropriate.  She warned that the trend of putting babies in containers endangers their smooth evolution towards comfortable, well-balanced, confident adulthood.

And on that note, we got to the babywearing:

Dana wearing 1 year old Jocelyn in a rebozo hip carry

Upright in a ring sling--exact same position as with a rebozo, but this baby is on the front (tummy to tummy) instead of on the hip as in the above photo

Laura accomplishes a back carry!

Moms Circle, 28 July 2010

We discussed how to make sure our weekly meetings were friendly to toddlers and big kids and their mothers, as well as babies.  We realized that there had been an expectation that the children stay (relatively) quiet, and remain in the part of the room with the toys, so that the mothers and babies in arms could maintain a (relatively) peaceful circle of discussion.

While this doesn’t sound outrageous, the very relationship that we encourage mothers to develop with their infants is just as valuable as the infant grows, learns to walk (and run) and talk (and yell).  Because we want to avoid situations and environments in which our children must be disciplined to act in a way that was not easy for them, this group meeting was proving disruptive of family relationships for some of the moms.

So it was important to discuss what was expected by the church that hosts our group, what was necessary to make it possible for the mothers to share experiences with each other (the function of the group), what was important to the moms as far as freedoms and safety for their children and for the babies.  By clarifying actual group expectations we could discard those we had assumed were in place that might not have been important to the group, and at the same time everyone in the group is now aware of what is expected of the kids.  That way we all know what the rules are that the group is comfortable with and can choose to be part of the group without worrying about whether our children are too disruptive.

Along the way we concluded that interruptions by toddlers, and continual gentle mothering of them throughout the meetings was valuable not only to the mother and child, but to the new moms whose infants were still in arms, and to all of the other mothers as each interaction is an example from which we can all take or leave the elements that we see working or that appeal to our parenting styles.

We discussed cloth diapers for Jennifer who is pregnant now, and discussed nighttime diapering for Amy, whose son leaks through cloth or disposables at night (luckily another mom of a boy figured out the anatomical problem and solution).

We discussed wrapping (yay!), including what position a tiny infant’s legs should be in, Shelby wanted to get her toddler wrapped up in a back wrap cross carry tied over her new baby bump.  Anna wanted instruction on a good rucksack carry.  Jennifer tried out a front cross carry (Belle was happy to accommodate).

Naomi and Anna in a Rucksack Carry

Jennifer trying out a baby and a Front Cross Carry

Amy and Shawn in a Short Front Cross Carry

Moms Circle–Vaccines

Instead of our usual format, our moms circle invited a guest speaker today.  Doctor Holly Johantgen is a Doctor of Oriental Medicine, an Acupuncture Physician and a Primary Care Physician in Clearwater Florida, as well as a mother of two young children.  She fielded questions about vaccines, and we snuck some other questions in, too, while we had her.

What I took away from her talk was that there are prevalent assumptions about vaccines that should be questioned.

• Vaccines may not protect your child from disease.  Some people feel that getting the whooping cough vaccine will not necessarily keep your child from getting the whooping cough.  If it doesn’t work, this simplifies the whole decision-making process–so it’s worth doing your own research into the subject.
• The benefits may not outweigh the risks.  Vaccines carry known risks, a fact well illustrated by the existence of the Vaccine Injury Compensation Trust Fund.  Each vaccine could be examined individually as to the risks, and the risks of the relevant disease should also be investigated.  If a vaccine does effectively prevent a disease, it may still have side effects or risks that are worse (or likelier) than the threat of catching the disease naturally.
• Some vaccines may not be necessary for every individual.  Investigate each one individually to decide whether your children need to be protected from Hepatitis B, polio, chicken pox, tetanus.  Consider that some vaccines can be administered later if and when they are deemed necessary (ie when you are ready to take your child overseas or when your child steps on a dirty nail).
• The standard recommended vaccine schedule may not be best.  Vaccinating infants does, without a doubt, compromise their otherwise (hopefully) healthy immune systems.  Many doctors recommend delayed vaccinations.  Doctor Holly recommended waiting until your child is at least two years old, but said that according to oriental medicine, a person’s body would be better able to handle vaccinations between five and seven years old.

If you are worried about a particular disease outbreak, ask whether the kids contracting the disease have been vaccinated or not.  If they are vaccinated, there is no reason to sabotage your child’s immune system at this critical time with a vaccine that does not work!

If you are unsure about vaccinations, Doctor Holly’s advice is to WAIT.  Don’t vaccinate until you are sure, because it is a decision that cannot be undone, and which has lifelong ramifications.  You can always decide to vaccinate, but once done you cannot become un-vaccinated.

If you do choose to vaccinate your children, do everything you can to support their immune health before and after the vaccines are administered.  Nutrition is the biggest contributor to your child’s health. Leading up to a vaccination, keep your child’s diet free of sugar and as packed with nutrition as you can!  You can also visit with a Doctor of Oriental Medicine for herbs or supplements that might assist your child’s body in handling the vaccine.  If you do choose to vaccinate, read ingredients, insist on thermisol-free vaccines, and record the batch number.

If you choose not to vaccinate your child, it is also important to support their immune health.  Again, nutrition is the best thing to tweak.  In fact, I could just say that if you are a parent–regardless of whether your child is vaccinated–look to a good diet to keep your children healthy!

30 June Moms Circle

I never quite got around to writing about this moms group, but with such a beautiful collection of mamatoto dyads, I had to share the photos!  The last one is the babywearing gang we formed–flashing our gang sign…

Moms Circle, 14 July 2010

Today I helped Amanda and Julie get their babies on their backs in double hammock carries, and helped Dana’s cousin wrap her itty bitty up in her Moby.

In conversations we addressed topics as varying as coping with potential medical problems (and the question of trusting doctors), to boundaries in the physical relationship of parents and children (I think as a group we agree that every family must find what is comfortable for them) and how the kind of relationship we establish with our little ones will impact their future relationships.

We discussed how to get better rested when your baby is waking more often.  Dana pointed out how fleeting babyhood is, suggesting that a tired parent remember that a) this wont last forever and b) it is worth treasuring now.

We briefly touched on cloth diapering, specifically for newborns.  Since it’s my blog, I have the privilege of remembering and relating only my recommendation: for contour diapers with elasticized legs.  Cheaper than fitteds, containing of that liquid breastmilk poop, and able to fit snugly around a tiny newborn with a snappi.

Moms Co-op

At our Moms Circle today, we decided to form a mothering co-op. We’ll start next week at my house.  Tuesday, 6 July 2010, I’m opening up my house at 9am for a playdate in which some of the moms will stay and hang out, and some moms will drop off their babies/kids and go take some “me” time.

This is our first get together.  It’s something of a trial.  We’ll see how many people show up, and how many plan to stay versus how many want to leave.  We’ll play it by ear and see how we can improve it to make it the most beneficial for each of us.

If you want to come and don’t know where I live, email, comment, or send me a message on Facebook.

In summary, come at 9am or any time later.  I have somewhere to be in the afternoon, so I’ll probably need to kick everyone out by 1pm or soon after.  That means you should be back to pick up your kids by then or they may be sold to gypsies.  Hmmm, I guess I should make everyone sign a form to that effect when they show up!

Moms’ Circle 23 June 2010

Evelyn began our discussion today with an admonition that we are here to support each other, and not to nitpick the particulars of our parenting choices.  We are better mothers when we are emotionally (and physically) available to our children.  As the mother, we are often wholly responsible for our children all the time, without someone playing a similar role to our needs.  As a group we can provide that for each other, emotionally recharging each other.

Perhaps it was this opening suggestion, but we had rather a teary time today.  It was amazingly wonderful to get together with moms and babies and siblings, and also get to hear out the travails and hardships some of us are facing.  We have enough in common that we can share the experiences and feelings even when the circumstances are different.

The discussion touched on loss of a loved one, dealing with our emotions while raising our babies and the effects it will have on them, fear of changes and an unknowable future, communication with spouses and relationships, feelings of not contributing enough or not being appreciated, and we shared advice on teething, sleeping, and, of course, babywearing!

We glowed happily for Ainsley and Susan who missed the group today because they are home with their brand new nurslings, and we congratulated Susan’s husband and son who came by to visit.  We welcomed Michelle who drove down to our meeting from Alabama, and who we’ve missed since she moved, and marveled at her growing girl.  We were happy to see moms who haven’t made it for several weeks, and a new mom, too.  We joyfully met with the moms who make it every week and who we look forward to seeing each Wednesday.

We had to disperse rather rapidly at the end as it had gotten late and everyone had to go but no one wanted to.

9 June 2010 Moms Circle

Tawny and Emaline brightening up our meeting

In wrapping news, Lindsay got a water wrap, Julie’s going to buy Lindsay’s Christiane EllaRoo, Ainsley and Evan are deciding which Bali Baby Breeze to get, Anna bought my Earthy Rainbow Girasol, I bought Tina’s mystery organic wrap, and Tina’s going to sell her short EllaRoo and buy a Bali Baby Breeze.  Wow!

Amanda’s son’s little legs turn blue when she puts him in most any baby carrier so she and I played with the Front Wrap Cross Carry, experimenting with spreading each of the three passes of the wrap over his body AND legs so that his legs are not hanging out, and there is no part of the wrap that is crossing tightly over his calves. Momma and baby were comfy and happy in the carry, and it doesn’t seem that there should be any disturbance to his circulation, so we’ll call that one a success!  This versatility for problem solving is my favorite thing about wraparound carriers, unlike other carriers that are shaped to be worn a certain way and that’s it.

Front Wrap Cross Carry with the legs covered

Anna wanted to wrap up Naomi who was sleeping on her chest in her arms.  Anna knows the Front Cross Carry but I showed her the Front Wrap Cross Carry–easier to tie on while holding your baby–and she got her new Earthy Rainbow on.  Stunning!

Sleeping newborn getting wrapped up in Earthy Rainbow Girasol

I wanted to show Nancy the Front Cross Carry.  She had used the Front Wrap Cross Carry with Michelle when she was younger but now Michelle is not enjoying the wrap.  I think if Nancy does a pretied carry like the FCC, and Michelle does not have to put up patiently with the wrapping process, she might settle down happily in the wrap.  It’s an experiment that was postponed because in order to pretie our carries, we both had to put our babies down, and our babies were adamantly and affectionately attacking each other in an alarming fashion.  Every time we got started with the wraps, we had to drop them to dive for the babies!

Susan brought two traveling Ellevill wraps, which was exciting for me as I had never touched one before.  The pattern is exquisite, and I really dug the colors too: dusky rose and mossy green!  They were thin and floppy and comfy for the short time I wore them.  Annabelle fell asleep in one and I hated to take it off when it was time to leave!

rucksack in short Ellevill

Front Cross Carry in the green Ellevill

All of that was very much in the background, however, and the bulk of the meeting was the lively discussion, reassuring moms about post partum hair loss, advising on lying down nursing techniques, recommending cloth diapers and how to try them out without a big financial commitment, discussing everything from the state of mind of a laboring woman to tiny testicles to cradle cap.

We also opined on the purpose of our group, the people we’d like to reach out to, and the difference we want to make.  Some of us are living natural mothering out on the fringe, and others are following a more mainstream course.  I think the conclusion was that we wanted to include anyone who wants to parent peacefully and with respect, and we really want to draw in new mothers and first time pregnant moms and surround them with peaceful, practical mothering practices so that they do not feel that they are caring for their new babies in a void.

As a result of this talk, I edited my page about this Moms Circle to reflect that we are not here to promote specific practices so much as to validate each woman’s innate knowledge and offer advice to support what works best for her and her baby.  I am very proud to be a part of this group and feel that we are helping a lot of moms–myself included!