This is a fantastic and detailed examination of the physiological benefits of wearing your baby (or alternately, the physiological damage of not holding babies enough):
It also covers positioning in a carrier. Obviously, having a baby in a carrier isn’t enough. The material isn’t magical. It’s using the material to hold your baby in an appropriate position that leads to optimal growth and development. As for magic, that’s in the human touch, body warmth, eye contact, heartbeat, synchronized breath, muscle symmetry . . . all this breeds wonderful, magical physical, mental and emotional benefits that will lead to happy babies and happy caregivers. If you’re as impressed by all that as I am, please pass on the information and spread the love. Happy Babywearing!
Wow–sorry about the two month long lapse of blogging! Instead of making excuses, why don’t I jump right in with what’s up right now?
My family has decided to take our leave of the house, the job, and the stable predictable life (such as it is with kids) and travel the country instead. No worries–the job I referred to is my husband’s construction, renovation and constructions work. Wrap Your Baby is not a job, so much as a mission, and Wrap Your Baby comes with us.
So me, my husband, my 6 year old & 1 year old daughters, our baby (arriving in the Spring) and a whole lot of wraps will be moving into a motorhome named Benny the Brave. We didn’t name him, but the name is very fitting, don’t you think, for such a bold move?
Ada and Benny the Brave
The transition will take a few months, as we have possessions to be freed from, a house to rent, and a baby to have, but we hope to set sail this Spring.
There’s a lot to adjust to and work out–how to stock inventory on the road, where to accept returns/exchanges, the easiest way to find the closest post office each day for shipments . . . and figuring it all out will be a blast.
I’ll be blogging about the new life, starting now with the baby steps leading to our departure, and if our journey interests you, please check it out at FreeRangeDreams.com
I recently added to my store several options for cold-weather babywearing. Of all of them, I picked a kindercoat for myself and this is why:
I only want to own one coat for normal use, pregnant use, and babywearing use. I’m a minimalist.
The fleece insert, used solo, is perfect for most of the cold weather we get in Florida, but I plan to travel a lot soon, and want to have the lighter option as well as the heavier option.
I want a coat I can wear with a front or back carry, a newborn (coming soon) or toddler (I think I can call my 11 month old a toddler now) or both! Also works for babywearing while pregnant (my current scene).
Predictably, the cold weather dissipated immediately upon arrival of my kindercoat. I tried it on a few times but couldn’t get any real use out of it until yesterday. I used just the fleece insert, which was the perfect weight jacket to keep us both warm for a chilly evening walk. The fleece insert is pretty much identical to the fleece kinder jacket, which can be bought separately for a significant savings if you don’t anticipate encountering heavier weather.
With only my six year old around to photograph, here’s what we looked like:
I actually love that last photo! And speaking of love, this is what I loved about the kinder coat insert:
Easy to put on over baby and get head through the head hole.
Easy to tighten (via drawstring) the opening behind baby, so it is snug and doesn’t let in the cold.
Easy to tighten the bottom (via drawstrings) to cinch close around my body. This kept Annabelle’s feet tucked inside the warm coat, and kept cold air from coming up through the bottom.
The collar of the jacket that Annabelle laid her head on covered my hair, which kept it from getting pulled!
The whole thing was soft and warm.
When we went inside later and Annabelle was asleep, I was able to remove the coat without waking her.
Today’s meeting culminated in a fantastic birth discussion. We went from giving advice to welcoming a baby into your homes, hearts, and lives, to Joanna’s birth story which contained such beauty and inspiration that tears, questions, and observations all flowed freely. Our “new baby” advice was aimed at the expectant moms in the group (both of the pregnant mamas at today’s group will be first time moms) and our mama whose baby will be leaving the NICU soon to come home for the first time. Each mom had specific circumstances worth considering, as each of us is unique in our situation. And we all anticipate bringing our babies home with such eagerness and love!
As someone who recently welcomed a new baby, Joanna contributed her experiences and segued right into her birth. We discussed the emotional issues present in pregnancy and birth, dad’s feelings and often-unaddressed emotions, the impact of the presence of others at the birth (Joanna was alone with her husband when they met their baby), the things that contribute to a peaceful birth, and the things learned from birth that make EVERY birth experience valuable. Evolution has brought birth to what it is
It all makes me reevaluate my own births–in my experience, always a valuable exercise. It makes me think about my births to come, as well. Just listening helps to work through some of my own thoughts and hang-ups, but tossing out thoughts and ideas in our safe and loving circle really moves me forward on my personal discovery process and is so much fun! I can’t wait to birth again!
Dana had an excellent topic that we didn’t get to (I realize now that I am home, sitting at my computer), and I hope that next week we get to discuss parental expectations. . . how to recognize them and change them if need be! As a momma going through a transitional phase right now, this is of great interest to me!
We discussed carseats, cloth diapers, tummy time, and natural cleaning products. We discussed how to mother while healing a sprained ankle and the best kind of footwear. We discussed diaper rash and milk-sharing. We laughed, we cried. It was a meeting of the moms.
All of the wraps I use are woven wraps. There is another kind of wraparound carrier known as a stretchy wrap. Stretchy and woven wraps are close cousins in that they are both long pieces of fabric which you tie around yourself and your baby in the position of your choice. They are tied similarly (or, in many cases, identically).
The difference? The stretchy wrap has more give, so it is less sturdy and secure as your child grows heavier, or in a back carry where you cannot keep an eye on the fabric, or quickly thrust out your hands to adjust as needed!
All the advice I give applies to woven wraps. Stretchy wraps are great, too, but have a more limited use, and I have very little experience with them from which to give advice. Look for tons of tips and experience on the premier (and free) babywearing discussion forums: www.thebabywearer.com
Do not consider my instructions as applicable to stretchy wraps! This is the only tutorial I have for a stretchy wrap: http://www.wrapyourbaby.com/pocketwrapcrosscarry.htm You can find plenty more from more knowledgeable users on Youtube. Have fun!
Today we attended a La Leche League Enrichment Meeting. Subject: Honing in the Holidays. Off topic, a bit, from baby wraps, I know, but applicable (I’m guessing) to lots of the readers of this blog.
I wasn’t the one taking notes (Joanna should have written this entry), but I wanted to review some of the ideas that might be helpful to other families.
Don’t let your milk dry up by leaving a bottle of expressed milk and going shopping alone during nursing time!
Emphasize tradition, family, and experiences rather than possessions.
Don’t let the way other families (or other people in your family) do Christmas unduly effect you.
Doing an advent calendar? Instead of a trinket or candy each day, plan an event (go to winter festival, put up Christmas tree, etc), schedule a craft (make glittery snowflakes), or have each pocket contain an ornament or decoration. You could also have a special object in each pocket that gets moved to the subsequent pocket each day as a way to count down to the big day without unnecessary acquisition. Or have a big paper Santa and have your children add one cotton ball to his beard each day until he’s got a full beard on Christmas. My friend Christal is wrapping up 25 childrens books and they will open one to read each night–I think that’s a tradition worth adopting whether you’re an advent calendar type or not!
Why does Santa bring so many (or so few) gifts to your house, and so many to your kids’ cousins or schoolmates? Instead of launching into convoluted and desperate explanations (potentially crossing the line between fun make believe and lying to your kids), tell them that in your family Christmas is more about family than gifts, and Santa knows and respects that.
Santa fills the stockings in our house, but presents are meaningfully chosen for and from loved ones. That means my daughter knows that the gift she loves was lovingly chosen by me and her father (ie we get credit). It also means we don’t get into writing lists to Santa of “what I want for Christmas” and expecting a pony because, after all, Santa is magic and can bring anything!
To cut down on expenses, bake artisan bread, cookies, etc for relatives. Make a basket with scones and homemade cocoa mix. Or a box of tea or coffee. Or give a basket with homemade vanilla, almond, and lemon extract.
Big families might want to do the “choose a name from a hat” bit and each grown-up gets one relative to shop for instead of ten. That’ll simplify the holidays!
To cut down on the influx of gifts from relatives, ask for savings bonds for the kids, or memberships to the zoo or museum, or dance or music classes. Local relatives can take your children for a special day at the zoo together instead of something to unwrap.
To prevent you children from drowning in rooms full of stuff, consider having them clear out many possessions for charity in December “to make room for the new presents.” You might even implement a rule that everything that comes into the house means something else has to go. This is a nice rule to live by year-round if you want to keep clutter at bay. Oh, it must apply to the whole family, or it’s just not fair.
Make handmade gifts with your kids for friends and relatives and consider giving your kids some gifts you make yourself for them to emphasize the time spent working in love and de-emphasize the commercial experience. Gifts your kids make can be easy for you, but still thoughtful. Make beads out of clay and give relatives a handmade necklace. Cut your child’s watercolor into strips and laminate (with packing tape) to make bookmarks for friends or family (snazzy them up with a hole punch at the top and tying a bit of colorful yarn through). Make Christmas cookies with your kids to give grandparents as gifts (you can have the kids decorate them too). Have kids paint ceramic mugs at a local pottery store and give coffee mugs as a practical gift. Do handprint gifts (mugs, picture frames, ornaments) with younger tots. When it comes to a child giving a gift, a picture drawn just for Grammy can be done in ten minutes and still be special and heartfelt without any further embellishment.
Stress free crafts with kids:
Have kids paint, glue, or sparkle, then cut the design into seasonal shapes for Christmas cards, sun-catchers, etc. You can also fold them into paper lanterns or other creations. Get an idea and google it for great ideas.
Paper chains for Christmas decoration.
String popcorn and cranberries.
Paint and string beads.
Make jewelry and other things from pipe cleaners.
Cut out and decorate a construction paper frame and glue a photo in the middle.
Have kids cut out and glue pictures (family photos, pictures in magazines, pretty patterned wrapping paper or fabric scraps) to boxes, jars, or other things for a unique decoupage style storage.
Visit craft blogs for inspiration. The Magic Onions is fantastic both for kids crafts, and gifts you can make FOR your kids (love the watercolor board book)!
We didn’t have time for me to discuss it at the meeting (and I couldn’t really talk about stocking stuffers with my six year old present, since Santa is responsible for stockings in our house), but I’ve been pondering how to fill a stocking without resorting to meaningless junk. Here are some ideas I think my daughter would like, but every kids is going to have different interests: crazy straws for drinks, pretty tights (for wearing under dresses this Florida Winter), a bouncy ball (always a hit), maybe punch balloons. And a little fairy figure. Oh, and there must be a candycane sticking out.
And what about my one year old? I need to provide a stuffed stocking, but there’s no point going overboard when she’d be just as happy with wrapping paper, right? I’m thinking of putting some playsilks in her stocking (they’ll take up some room). And maybe one of those weird cylinders that moos like a cow when you turn it over. Because every baby should have one, right? And a super easy homemade cloth doll should round things out.
Keeping kids (and ourselves) from OD’ing on sugar? If you know you will encounter lots of treats around family and friends, at least refrain from adding to it yourself with Christmas baking all month. Instead of leaving cookies for Santa, leave carrots for his reindeer (we leave both, though). Santa could benefit from a few less cookies and a few more carrots himself!
Consider bringing healthier treats for your family so when everyone else is having cookies, you and your kids can have cookies that, at the very least, don’t have artificial coloring! To prevent your family from looking like health freaks, bring enough to share so it isn’t your own private food, but a tray for everyone and that happens to be the tray you sample from.
If you get lots of sugary gifts, maybe it’s the perfect time to practice the spirit of Christmas by sharing with friends, co-workers, or charity.
There are probably endless ways to simplify the holidays. Please share some of your tips in the comments!
The fist thing people think of when it comes to babywearing with a view, is facing baby forward in a baby carrier.
Forward facing. Facing outward. Whatever you call it, the idea is that you are wearing or wrapping baby with baby’s back against your stomach.
While this position has been popularized by many strapped baby carriers readily available at baby stores and big box stores, it is not always the best way to give your child a view.
So my first message to you is that there are many ways to give your baby a view in a woven wrap! Read on to learn about each method and find the one that will work best for you: Read More
I love our group! I so look forward to every Wednesday, I have a blast when I’m there, and I leave feeling like I’ve helped as much as I’ve been helped, with a renewed love for humanity!
Today we talked about sleep (toddler sleep), which led to a discussion of routines (not schedules), and we were able to validate one mommy’s instincts about caring for her distressed baby, rather than teaching her baby to deal with distress quietly by herself. All of this helped me, though I hadn’t asked any questions, by reinforcing my own parenting choices and serving as a reminder that baby challenges are a fact of every parenting style, and that those challenges pass so quickly that today’s disaster is barely remembered next week.
We talked about shy toddlers, why shyness would be equated with low self esteem, and whether loving support of a toddler’s native personality is enough to help foster self confidence. This led to an examination of how a mother’s experiences color her view of her children, and the sorts of things she will be concerned about. Yes, we concluded that babies and children should be supported and encouraged, and that is the best we can do to provide them with a foundation for a happy life.
A mom who is new to our group has a new baby and no milk–due to complications at the birth her own milk had dried up. Several of the other moms shared contact information with her so that they could get together to nurse her baby for her, and someone suggested a supplemental nursing system–wherein breastmilk donated by members of our group can be fed to her baby through a tube running into the baby’s mouth while the baby is latched onto . . . his mother! This will simultaneously provide the baby with breastmilk, promote all of the other benefits of nursing (more of which have to do with the physical act than the milk), AND very likely stimulate the momma’s own milk to return!
And there was babywearing. One mom has a baby with leg in a cast. She had a ring sling, which is not my forte, but I do know enough about it to realize that the little boy’s cast, which covers his knee, is holding his leg in a position not quite bent enough to provide a good seat in a ring sling. So we got out the wraps. Her friend (and member of our group) is going to lend her a do-it-yourself gauze wrap (or simple piece of cloth), so we practiced a back carry, because the mom said her baby wants to be held constantly–even when she has to prepare lunch. A back carry will allow them to stay close while she is able to get things done.
Ideally, in any good baby carrier, a baby’s knees are high and bent. Given the constraints of the cast, one knee will be not quite so bent. However a good double hammock carry supports him well and provides enough security that he will stay well seated and safe.
Alicia wanted a hip carry, so we did the Poppins Hip Carry. Then Michelle showed us her own invented carry which I’m going to have to do a tutorial for because I thought it was SO COOL. Similar to a Poppins, but easier and more poppable, in my opinion.
How do you babywear in cold weather? As it turns out, there are many options.
Babywearing outerwear specifically designed for accommodating the two of you and the babycarrier. Babywearing outwear comes in the form of coats, sweaters, jackets and ponchos. Some are for cooler weather than others. Some are water resistant. Some are made from natural and some from synthetic materials.
Babywearing covers that cover the baby and baby carrier for warmth, but do not cover the babywearer (who would wear their own coat).
Larger winter coats for the babywearer to wear that are big enough to close around baby as well, so that both are inside the same coat. Mens coats, swing coats and A line coats are all good options, buttoned up just as far as baby’s neck. As baby and wearer would be sharing the same head hole, it may be necessary to wear a scarf or shawl to cover your neck and chest between the two of you.
Traditional shawl, poncho, or pashmina can be wrapped around both of you. Wool is an excellent material for warmth, water resistance, and breathability.
Bundling baby within the carrier, and wearing your own coat on top.
Some people do their bundling (mother and baby in winter gear) and then put the babycarrier on top of all the coats, as in the photo above. This is not my favorite option as coats can be slippery and unsafe to babywear over, and the bulk can make it tricky to get a comfortably tight carry. It also eliminates the babywearing benefit of having baby close enough to hear your heartbeat, smell you, etc. Also, your warmth is the best way to keep your baby warm so I like to avoid layers between you. However, in some circumstances it works great and it is nice to have the option.
If you want to wrap over Winter gear, consider that you may need a longer wrap than you are used to (or learn shorter carries that you can do with your wrap). You will not have as much flexibility once you are bundled up, so opt for simple carries with fewer layers or easy to spread passes. And look for warm sweaters, jackets, and coats that are not too puffy or slippery for you both to wear under the wrap, like sweaters and fleece.
It is easier to wrap over winter clothes that are not too bulky or slippery so you can get a snug, comfortable, and secure carry.
You should also think about whether you will want yourself and baby to stay bundled up when you get to your destination.
If you’re going to the mall or grocery store, you’re not going to want to be wearing coats when you get there, and you will probably still want baby wrapped up when you get there, so it will be most convenient to NOT have baby bundled up inside the wrap. One coat over both of you is easiest to remove and carry.
Putting one big winter coat over you and your baby carrier allows you to take advantage of each others body heat and also helps keep baby from overheating because your bodies can regulate better and you are experiencing the same temperature as your baby.
If you’re wearing your toddler to the park where he will want to get down and play, then you will want baby out of the wrap, but with his own coat. I find it works well to wrap the baby up with his arms out of the wrap, and then put the coat on outside of the carrier. His arms will go into the sleeves, hood will go over his head, and the coat will remain open, covering his back outside the wrap while his front is toastily pressed against yours. When you get to the park, you pop him out and you and he leave your coats on and button them up at this point.
You can also bundle baby up within the wrap and then put your own coat on over the top, either leaving it open in front or zipping it up part way, under baby.
Front Cross Carry is the perfect winter carry because it is “poppable” which means that you can tie it on at home and put baby in or pop baby out without retying. This makes it very fast to come in and out of a wrap so that you and your baby are not shivering in the cold while you get wrapped up.
Keep in mind that babies are not supposed to wear coats in carseats if the seat belt has to be adjusted looser to accommodate the extra bulk. A blanket over top of the baby once strapped in is a safer plan. So if you are driving, you want the easiest way to keep baby bundled up on the way to the car, and from the car to the house, without a baby coat or bunting. If you don’t have other things to carry or other kids hands to hold, and your car is just out in the driveway, it may be easiest to simply carry your baby in a blanket or under your coat, climb into the car, close the doors, and get him buckled in and tucked in. When you get to your destination, you can either wrap baby up while sitting in the back seat (may take some practice or a roomy vehicle), or carry bundled baby into the mall (for example) and then wrap him up once you are inside.
If you like the idea of a babywearing coat, but lack the funding, consider making your own:
I have countless precious moments and memories of my two babies wrapped against me. I often think back to when I was a teenager, long before my own babies, and I saw a woman wearing her baby in the grocery store. I immediately decided I would wear my babies too. It was so obviously perfect. And it reminds me that often we are changing people’s lives and futures even when we don’t know it.
I hope every babywearer knows that she is not only taking the best care of her own babies, but changing the world when people see you keeping your baby close to your heart. Wear your baby with pride and know that you deserve many thanks that you might not always hear. Several moms I’ve heard from have cited an unknown babywearing stranger as the influence that piqued their interest in babywearing–that may have been you!
Here are just a few of the letters I’ve received from strangers that have turned me teary and made this business so worth my time:
“I just wanted to say thank you! I learned how to carry my baby through your videos and it has changed my life. Not only is my baby happier in the day and sleeping better at night, it saved me from my postpartum depression. I got my life back – and even better! Words can not express…”
–Sophia, carrying a two year old and four month old in San Diego
“Thank you for all the instruction how how to carry a baby in a wrap! I have used a Ergo carrier, a Snugli, slings, and a Maya wrap, but when it came to using a wrap, I was clueless. The pictures and videos on your site have been priceless to me. Now, I’ve shared your site with all my facebook friends! Thank you so much!!!”
–Valerie
“Hi! I actually had a divine intervention the other day that led me to your site. I was in Kroger with my 2 year old and my 9 day old. I was having some issues with the commercial style carrier for the baby and your mom came over and introduced herself. She told me I should really look at a sling and gave me your card. I was actually very happy because I have always intended to use a sling. I just never got around to doing it and my brother-in-law gave me a front carrier and the rest is history. I never ever used it with my two year old. Anyway, I just got a chance to visit your site. I was expecting a site with stuff for sale. Instead, I am so psyched because you gave such detailed info that because I sew and keep tons of fabric, I can try to tie one tonight!! I am a stay-at-home mom, too, so I have my kids with me all the time and this will be so nice for the baby. Just wanted to let you know…”
“Just wanted to say that our baby girl was born yesterday (!!!) and I forwarded your newsletter to my husband from my hospital bed last night……..When he visited us this morning, he casually announced that he’d really like me to show him how to carry her in a wrap when we get home! Thank you!!!!”
–Sarah
“I just want to take a minute to thank you for your wonderful wrapping videos and instructions. I’m not so new to baby wearing but I am pretty new to wrapping and your site has been SO helpful to me. Thank you so much!!!!! ”
“I met you four years ago at a hotel in Clearwater where you sold me a Moby and an Ellaroo. I think of you often, and wanted to thank you for the most recent email about the birth of your beautiful third daughter! Congratulations on the VBAC. (I have also had one of those J). When I met you I believe I was buying a wrap for my sister, who was expecting her first child and also one for myselfâŠfor my third son. We now have four sons and our youngest brings me the Ellaroo all the time and asks to be put into it. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your passion the way that you do.”
“I just wanted to tell you how wonderful your site is and how thankful I am for it. I am wearing my third baby as I write this. He is so happy on my back (in a Didymos rubinrot). I’ve been using your site for a couple years now and have learned so much. God bless you!”
“I have to tell you that I am so thankfull that I found your website! If you donât mind, I would like to tell you my story. About a week ago, I was walking around a local farmers market with my 2 year old daughter in a stroller and my 7 month old son in a baby bjorn carrier. I saw this mom with her daughter (about the age of my son) in the most comfortable carrier I had ever seen! I couldnât help but ask her where she got it. That is when I was introduced to the world of wraps and what I would call âtrueâ babywearing. Â So, After our encounter, I couldnât wait to get one of my own. Money is tight because I am a stay at home mom, so I just went to the fabric store for mine, as did the woman at the market.
“Ever since the day I brought it home, I have been wearing him with the one wrap that she showed me, but once I found your website this morning it was like a light went off. My son, Xander is going through some serious separation anxiety and everyones advice to me is to not carry him and let him learn to be independent. Well, I have tried, but I can just feel that it is not what either of us needs. You website has helped me give Xander what he needs, while still allowing me to get everything done I need to do in a day. He even nursed today for the first time while in the wrap! I just feel such a sense of contentment now with our situation. In just this short time, I feel much more connected to him.
“To make the story even better, when he went down for a nap, I asked my two year old if she wanted to ârideâ she of course obliged and loved being so close to mom! She snuggled right in there and I could just see her eyes light up. (forgive me, I am getting very teary eyed right now) I just know that she has had such a hard time adjusting to her new baby brother and sharing the attention. Everyone pushes me to make her grow up faster and get over it, but after seeing her face today, I couldnât disagree more. I know my family is going to tell me how awful it is that I carry my kids around all day, but I now have the confidence to do what I believe my children need. I am so greatful that there are people like you and the woman I met at the farmers market to help moms who donât feel natural with some of the more modern parenting techniques.
“I am STILL SO GREATFUL for all of the amazing information you have provided. Thank you again for everything!!”
–Ginger
“Because wearing my baby makes her more eye-level, I feel that others interact with her more as a person versus an objectified infant. I sat my baby on the couch yesterday and reached for my wrap. Â She squealed with delight and clapped her hands together! Â That’s a satisfied customer ;)”
It’s about the nine months I carried you in my womb; the hopes, dreams, and smiles with which I anticipated your earthly arrival; the sight and smell and knowledge of you that keeps my heart doing flip flops; and the fact that neither one of us wants to be separated.
1 week before birth
1 week after birth
Because there is no place you would rather be, and it’s the most and the least I can do for you. Because the world is new and wide, and my presence is the perfect reassurance and introduction. Because you have entered into a safe and loving world, and you are close to those who love you.
nursing
You have time enough to stand, and walk, and run, and I look forward to chasing you . . . but not yet.
nursing again
Because sleeping peacefully in your cradle is not as nice, as safe, or as happy as sleeping on my chest. Because here I can see your face, lips, and breath, your fluttering lids and lashes, and every momentary smile or wince as you dream.
at the park
For almost a year my body has kept you safe and focused, reminding you to breath, keeping you connected to humanity, and earth, and life, as no molded plastic seat can.
3 weeks old
The coziness, comfort, safety, and closeness is familiar, as are our heartbeats, and the rhythms and smells of our bodies.
When there are deaths associated with a crib, the crib is recalled. When there are deaths associated with a product that is outside of the comfort zone of the mainstream, an entire industry takes the hit.
Infantino designed “bag slings” that were unsafe, and which managed to lose most of the benefits associated with babywearing by slinging the babies down by the hip like an accessory, rather than making them the center of your world tight against your chest and in your line of vision.
When the Infantino bag slings in question were recalled, strangers began warning me that I was endangering my baby when I wore her in the grocery store, on a walk, or at the park. Well meaning advice, I’m sure, but it illustrates the problem. The recall threw babywearing into a bad–a deadly–light.  So much so that one of the oldest, best, and most popular brands of SAFE, COMFY, BEAUTIFUL mom-designed baby carriers is off the market. Hotslings has officially closed its doors, not due to any fault in its products, but because of that misunderstanding that could lump such disparate carriers as the bag sling and the pouch carrier into one, harmful, category.
With Infantino taking the lead on creating industry standards, every other good baby carrier is in jeapardy of becoming illegal. Infantino has no concept of what contributes to safe babywearing or the benefits that can be derived from it.
And that is when the Baby Carrier Industry Alliance (BCIA) was formed by the mothers and fathers behind some of the most innovative and well-loved baby carriers available, to set the standards for babywearing devices before the companies that are home-based, and which started out home-based (like Hotslings) can be edged out of the market leaving us with such slim pickings as you can find at your local BabiesRUs store . . .
If we let Infantino run this show, parents’ choices in the United States will narrow to Infantino style carriers. We can do better, our babies deserve better. This organization can save lives.
I’ve not used rebozos much, except for a while when Ada was two and I used one for a quick rucksack tied under the bottom…which is not really a rebozo carry anyway!
Well, I tried some rebozo front carries with Annabelle when she was littler, and it was never as easy, adjustable, or intuitive (for me) as a longer wrap so I pretty much stuck with longer wraps.
Because I love playing with wraps and trying new things, I tried a rebozo back carry a few weeks ago and it was REALLY GOOD! As someone who is familiar with wrap back carries, I found the rebozo carry very similar and easy to manage. The diagonal length of fabric across my back, tied in front, is just like many a back carry with a longer wrap.
I think my hang-up with the front carry is that I have to A) reach around my big ole baby to tie it, and B) I don’t have two wrap ends to pull on for tightening or adjustment. Both of those problems are non-existent with the back carry. As a dedicated wrapper living in hot, humid, Florida, I should really work on those rebozo chops. For now, I’m pretty stoked about the back carry, though!
First, it was my mom’s birthday. Happy birthday, mom! She is a great mom, and I appreciate every decision she’s ever made for me and my sister. I appreciate those decisions like I never did before I had my own children!
Don’t worry, I made her cupcakes and took her miniature golfing, but that was in the evening, and in the morning I had my Moms’ Circle with a whole ‘nother bunch of moms.
It was a small group, and we all enjoyed the intimacy. I think there were six of us? Seven? I’ve just thought about everyone who was there and now I think there were ten of us. Plus babies and kids. I guess our group has grown enough that ten feels like an intimate gathering! I had a lovely time. To top it off, the church that we meet in left muffins. Lots of decadent muffins. I ate one and took four home to my husband, so he can no longer claim to be the sole provider.
One of our members told us about a friend who just had a baby in the hospital and was still there because the baby had not been released. Something about jaundice. And as a result of the hospital’s urging, the baby was not nursing (but was drinking mama’s expressed milk) or being held. As women who are well-educated on the importance and value of human contact for newborns (and people of all ages, for that matter), we all felt some outrage on behalf of this newly-formed dyad. The issue at hand, though, really, in our meeting, was that the mom who is part of our group needed to have our emotional support, and to be listened to, about the situation that was hurting her heart. Her friend’s situation troubled her, and we were here to help her bear her troubles.
Interestingly, the next topic we broached, with seemingly unrelated subject matter, had very similar dynamics. A second mom at the group Wednesday was emotionally hurting because she had been asked not to nurse her baby at an upcoming family wedding.
Emotionally, when anyone–but especially family or loved ones–imply that your lifestyle choices are socially unacceptable, or something to be embarrassed about . . . this is very hurtful. Yes, even when you are confident in your choices, or perhaps especially then. Imagine that you were asked to take off your cross and not mention Christianity while at a family dinner. Or suppose that you were welcome to Thanksgiving dinner, as long as you and your same-sex partner did not hold hands or show affection to each other. Physically these requests might be easy to comply with. Spiritually, doing so–or letting the requester believe you were doing so–would compromise your integrity. And simply by making the request, the relationship has been altered.
Now maybe her son would not get hungry during the wedding and it wouldn’t come up. Maybe you weren’t going to mention religion either, because the conversation wasn’t going that way. Or perhaps you even planned to keep your nursing relationship, religion, or orientation under wraps at the event because you knew someone involved was uncomfortable with it and you wanted to avoid touchy subjects. All that is perfectly valid. But when the other person requests that you do so, that is a very different matter. It might mean that you cannot attend the event. In this case, it did mean that she needed support from people who understood.
Sadly, the family members making the request (and I should add that the request was more of a politely-worded ultimatum) probably did not realize that it was rude or hurtful. They probably think she is being unreasonable. I hope they can try putting themselves in that situation with something that is important to them. We can all benefit from thinking about the viewpoints of others now and then. But even more important than that is really knowing yourself and your own boundaries. Then it’s much easier to hold your position, and you can do so in the most loving and non-antagonistic of manners.
We had other topics too, apart from emotional support. Mary wanted the scoop on cloth diapers, particularly for a big one year old boy. We shared some suggestions and advised her to check some out in person to see what she liked. Krisha needed to talk about her current adventures in nighttime parenting to work out her priorities.
We had fun discussion and then worked on some wrapping. Krisha is seeking a back carry that is comfortable and hasn’t quite found it yet. She’s going to practice doing the Double Hammock Carry efficiently (tightly) enough that she’ll have enough wrap left to cross over the front instead of doing rucksack straps, as the rucksack straps are not comfortable for her. She’s also going to try tightening Back Wrap Cross Carry straps evenly so that she does not end up with pressure points in that carry, and she’s going to be more careful about placement of the straps on her shoulder–away from her neck, but perhaps not so far over the ball of her shoulder. Next week I’ll find out if she reached wrap nirvana with any of these tweaks!
If you’re new to babywearing on your back, you and your baby both need to become comfortable with it.
If you are worried or uncertain, your baby will be worried and is likely to cry.
I recommend practicing without the wrap. The best place is where you and your baby can both see yourselves in a mirror.  This helps you to know what’s happening, and is a source of entertainment.  If you are not certain you can keep your baby from dropping, of course you must begin over a bed or other soft surface, or with a spotter hovering behind you. Soon you will find that you can smoothly and easily move your baby from your front to your back and back to the front again safely.
Make it a game for your baby or toddler. Play around with it. Make funny faces and funny sounds. Shout, “Super-baby!”
If your baby becomes upset, scared, or frustrated, stop and try again another time when he or she is clearly in a playful, wide-awake, not-hungry mood!
There are several ways to get your baby onto your back. A toddler can often climb on when you squat in front of her and offer a piggyback ride. Otherwise you can scoot your baby or child around your hip to your back, or lift baby, rotate, and place him or her over your shoulder. Your baby might enjoy your swinging him or her around before settling him on your back.
Submit a baby wrapping video for a chance to win a free baby carrier and be part of a video to promote babywearing to the world!
Videos must be submitted by midnight 31 August, 2010 (EST).
Video details:
Videos can be any length (although if you send me a two hour home video I might not actually watch the whole thing) and you can submit as many as you like (or upload several clips as one video).
Videos should be unedited. Please do not add subtitles, effects, etc (so that all submissions can more easily be integrated into a cohesive babywearing video)
Videos can show the process of getting wrapped up, have someone already wrapped up, show the wrap used as a towel, hammock, or high chair. It can involve sibling-wearing, or teddy-bear wearing. The more variety the better!
Content should be primarily visual and not depend on dialogue.
Submission details:
To submit a video, upload it on YouTube (you will have to create an account).
Send an email to diana@wrapyourbaby.com with a link to your uploaded video. Include your name and mailing address (in case you win the prize!)
When I receive your email I will link your video to the WrapYourBaby Channel on YouTube so that all video submissions can be viewed there.
Prize details:
I will pick the winning entry. I will be looking for a video (or piece of one) that captures the coziness, closeness, cuteness, or convenience, the fun, funniness, or fabulousness of baby wrapping. The winning entry might as easily involve a dozing newborn or an energetic toddler. It might be set in your livingroom, or at the Grand Canyon. Length of video will not be a determining factor.
Winner will be announced by Monday, 6 September 2010 and will be notified via email.
All approved videos may be represented on a compilation video demonstrating the spirit of babywearing and the benefits of wraparound baby carriers.
Legal details:
Videos must be your original work and belong solely to you (any footage that contains brand logos, or copyrighted images will not be used in the compilation video).
The content of all submitted videos will become the property of Wrap Your Baby (Baby Earthling LLC) and can be used for promotional purposes. The content of the videos may be edited.
I reserve the right to disqualify any video for any reason.
Along with several new moms (new to our group, that is) and a sizable gathering of really wonderful moms and babies that were a joy to be around, we had a guest speaker today who discussed the important of infant reflexes, and their lifelong repercussions. Myra Moyryla explained how she determines whether a specific reflex needs work in a person of any age, and how the reflexes can be integrated (at any age), in such a way that the individual gains the control and comfort that was missed at some point in their development.
As Myra described some of the typical behavior one can expect from people who missed a normal reflex development, people in our group kept piping up with, “That’s my husband, exactly!” or, “Now I know why I…” It seemed to really make sense to a lot of people.
Myra also led us in some simple exercises to determine what reflexes of our own might need work. She told us how, in her work with Masgutova Neuro-sensory-motor reflex integration, she has seen many people resolve lifelong issues, some quite visually dramatic, and others that may have successfully hidden their difficulties behind a social veneer but now are able to really live the easy comfort they have been pretending.
Her talk really reinforced the importance of trusting baby bodies to do the important things they need to do, and to support them in their development with bodily contact and freedom of motion so that they can experience and integrate the biologically appropriate reflexes when appropriate. She warned that the trend of putting babies in containers endangers their smooth evolution towards comfortable, well-balanced, confident adulthood.
And on that note, we got to the babywearing:
Dana wearing 1 year old Jocelyn in a rebozo hip carry
Upright in a ring sling--exact same position as with a rebozo, but this baby is on the front (tummy to tummy) instead of on the hip as in the above photo
I’m going to just blog up my shipping policy to explain myself to anyone who’s interested:
I ship the cheapest way I can, because I hate paying for shipping and think most of you probably do, too. If I can, I fit a wrap into a flat-rate priority mail envelope (which is a fast service, as well, at 2-3 business days). Sometimes this involves some squeezing and jamming of the wrap. As wraps are pieces of fabric, I feel fairly comfortable doing this. Sometimes an instructional DVD is included and I have not yet had one damaged, but I would hope that a customer would let me know right away if anything made it to them in less than intact shape so that I could replace it.
Some of the wraps cannot fit into the flat rate envelope and Priority Mail is not always the cheapest method. Storchenwieges are much bulkier than the other wraps I sell, for example. When this is the case, another method of shipping will be chosen.
I’ve recently added International shipping option to my website. For now, it’s going to be $8 extra if I can fit the wrap in the flat-rate Priority Mail envelope. If not, I will contact the customer to let them know that there will be an additional cost.
For International orders, add your desired item or items to the shopping cart and then go to the shipping page to add “International Shipping” to the cart. Place your order and if any additional payment is necessary I will contact you to discuss it.
Let me know what you think, and whether my shipping policy meets your needs well enough! Email me or comment here with suggestions.
We discussed how to make sure our weekly meetings were friendly to toddlers and big kids and their mothers, as well as babies. We realized that there had been an expectation that the children stay (relatively) quiet, and remain in the part of the room with the toys, so that the mothers and babies in arms could maintain a (relatively) peaceful circle of discussion.
While this doesn’t sound outrageous, the very relationship that we encourage mothers to develop with their infants is just as valuable as the infant grows, learns to walk (and run) and talk (and yell). Because we want to avoid situations and environments in which our children must be disciplined to act in a way that was not easy for them, this group meeting was proving disruptive of family relationships for some of the moms.
So it was important to discuss what was expected by the church that hosts our group, what was necessary to make it possible for the mothers to share experiences with each other (the function of the group), what was important to the moms as far as freedoms and safety for their children and for the babies. By clarifying actual group expectations we could discard those we had assumed were in place that might not have been important to the group, and at the same time everyone in the group is now aware of what is expected of the kids. That way we all know what the rules are that the group is comfortable with and can choose to be part of the group without worrying about whether our children are too disruptive.
Along the way we concluded that interruptions by toddlers, and continual gentle mothering of them throughout the meetings was valuable not only to the mother and child, but to the new moms whose infants were still in arms, and to all of the other mothers as each interaction is an example from which we can all take or leave the elements that we see working or that appeal to our parenting styles.
We discussed cloth diapers for Jennifer who is pregnant now, and discussed nighttime diapering for Amy, whose son leaks through cloth or disposables at night (luckily another mom of a boy figured out the anatomical problem and solution).
We discussed wrapping (yay!), including what position a tiny infant’s legs should be in, Shelby wanted to get her toddler wrapped up in a back wrap cross carry tied over her new baby bump. Anna wanted instruction on a good rucksack carry. Jennifer tried out a front cross carry (Belle was happy to accommodate).
Naomi and Anna in a Rucksack Carry
Jennifer trying out a baby and a Front Cross Carry
Most back carries with a wrap will have either rucksack straps (the wrap comes straight down from your shoulder and goes underneath the same arm like a backpack–or vice versa, from under one arm to over the same shoulder) or are crossed across the chest so the wrap goes from over one shoulder to under the opposite arm.
A lot of people like rucksack straps because it saves having to find a way to spread the wrap across your chest without looking funny. A lot of people like rucksack straps because they’re cooler, and use a little less fabric.
Some people don’t like rucksack straps because they pinch, or cut off circulation, or feel like they’re going to slip off your shoulders. It varies by individual.
If you are not comfortable with rucksack straps, do the same carry but cross over your breasts instead of doing rucksack straps. If your wrap is long enough, you also have the option of tying Tibetan (instead of doing the cross) to pull the straps together in the center and relieve any pressure or prevent slippage.
Conversely, if you do not care for a cross in the front, you can still do your favorite, traditionally crossed, carry, but use rucksack straps instead of a cross.
Today I took advantage of the versatility of a wrap to switch from rucksack straps to crossed in front. Belle was asleep in a short Double Hammock Carry (tied under the bum) and after a while my arms started to feel tingly, even though I am usually completely comfortable with rucksack straps. I switched to crossed and she stayed up there for another hour.
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