I dedicated yesterday to my 3.6 meter Inka Storchenwiege. It is one of my very favorite wrap colorways, has been used plenty and is floppy soft, and I used it in July in Florida, albeit mostly indoors.
I am something like 5’3 and 115 lbs. The 3.6 was too short for FWCC or BWCC, but there were a lot of carries I could do.
What I took away from her talk was that there are prevalent assumptions about vaccines that should be questioned.
Vaccines may not protect your child from disease. Some people feel that getting the whooping cough vaccine will not necessarily keep your child from getting the whooping cough. If it doesn’t work, this simplifies the whole decision-making process–so it’s worth doing your own research into the subject.
The benefits may not outweigh the risks. Vaccines carry known risks, a fact well illustrated by the existence of the Vaccine Injury Compensation Trust Fund. Each vaccine could be examined individually as to the risks, and the risks of the relevant disease should also be investigated. If a vaccine does effectively prevent a disease, it may still have side effects or risks that are worse (or likelier) than the threat of catching the disease naturally.
Some vaccines may not be necessary for every individual. Investigate each one individually to decide whether your children need to be protected from Hepatitis B, polio, chicken pox, tetanus. Consider that some vaccines can be administered later if and when they are deemed necessary (ie when you are ready to take your child overseas or when your child steps on a dirty nail).
The standard recommended vaccine schedule may not be best. Vaccinating infants does, without a doubt, compromise their otherwise (hopefully) healthy immune systems. Many doctors recommend delayed vaccinations. Doctor Holly recommended waiting until your child is at least two years old, but said that according to oriental medicine, a person’s body would be better able to handle vaccinations between five and seven years old.
If you are worried about a particular disease outbreak, ask whether the kids contracting the disease have been vaccinated or not. If they are vaccinated, there is no reason to sabotage your child’s immune system at this critical time with a vaccine that does not work!
If you are unsure about vaccinations, Doctor Holly’s advice is to WAIT. Don’t vaccinate until you are sure, because it is a decision that cannot be undone, and which has lifelong ramifications. You can always decide to vaccinate, but once done you cannot become un-vaccinated.
If you do choose to vaccinate your children, do everything you can to support their immune health before and after the vaccines are administered. Nutrition is the biggest contributor to your child’s health. Leading up to a vaccination, keep your child’s diet free of sugar and as packed with nutrition as you can! You can also visit with a Doctor of Oriental Medicine for herbs or supplements that might assist your child’s body in handling the vaccine. If you do choose to vaccinate, read ingredients, insist on thermisol-free vaccines, and record the batch number.
If you choose not to vaccinate your child, it is also important to support their immune health. Again, nutrition is the best thing to tweak. In fact, I could just say that if you are a parent–regardless of whether your child is vaccinated–look to a good diet to keep your children healthy!
Tuesday the Pinellas Cloth Diaper Chatter group had a meet-up at the beach. We love cloth diapers, but for me, everything is about baby wraps!
Amy has a new Lou Neobulle in a shorter size than her other wrap and wanted to know what carries she could do with it. She knew she had a good rucksack going for her, but what else? We played around and discovered that she can do an abbreviated Front Wrap Cross Carry, a Short Front Cross Carry, or a hip carry. She did a good Hip Cross Carry, and we considered some variations of the Poppins Hip Carry and Robins Hip Carry, neither of which have I managed to get instructions for up on my site yet! Another back carry option with a shorty is the Reinforced Rear Rebozo Rucksack.
Somehow I managed not to take any pictures of all that, but I did snap one photo of Angela in her new Silver Waves Didymos–I loved it!
I never quite got around to writing about this moms group, but with such a beautiful collection of mamatoto dyads, I had to share the photos! The last one is the babywearing gang we formed–flashing our gang sign…
Today I helped Amanda and Julie get their babies on their backs in double hammock carries, and helped Dana’s cousin wrap her itty bitty up in her Moby.
In conversations we addressed topics as varying as coping with potential medical problems (and the question of trusting doctors), to boundaries in the physical relationship of parents and children (I think as a group we agree that every family must find what is comfortable for them) and how the kind of relationship we establish with our little ones will impact their future relationships.
We discussed how to get better rested when your baby is waking more often. Dana pointed out how fleeting babyhood is, suggesting that a tired parent remember that a) this wont last forever and b) it is worth treasuring now.
We briefly touched on cloth diapering, specifically for newborns. Since it’s my blog, I have the privilege of remembering and relating only my recommendation: for contour diapers with elasticized legs. Cheaper than fitteds, containing of that liquid breastmilk poop, and able to fit snugly around a tiny newborn with a snappi.
At our Moms Circle today, we decided to form a mothering co-op. We’ll start next week at my house. Tuesday, 6 July 2010, I’m opening up my house at 9am for a playdate in which some of the moms will stay and hang out, and some moms will drop off their babies/kids and go take some “me” time.
This is our first get together. It’s something of a trial. We’ll see how many people show up, and how many plan to stay versus how many want to leave. We’ll play it by ear and see how we can improve it to make it the most beneficial for each of us.
If you want to come and don’t know where I live, email, comment, or send me a message on Facebook.
In summary, come at 9am or any time later. I have somewhere to be in the afternoon, so I’ll probably need to kick everyone out by 1pm or soon after. That means you should be back to pick up your kids by then or they may be sold to gypsies. Hmmm, I guess I should make everyone sign a form to that effect when they show up!
Evelyn began our discussion today with an admonition that we are here to support each other, and not to nitpick the particulars of our parenting choices. We are better mothers when we are emotionally (and physically) available to our children. As the mother, we are often wholly responsible for our children all the time, without someone playing a similar role to our needs. As a group we can provide that for each other, emotionally recharging each other.
Perhaps it was this opening suggestion, but we had rather a teary time today. It was amazingly wonderful to get together with moms and babies and siblings, and also get to hear out the travails and hardships some of us are facing. We have enough in common that we can share the experiences and feelings even when the circumstances are different.
The discussion touched on loss of a loved one, dealing with our emotions while raising our babies and the effects it will have on them, fear of changes and an unknowable future, communication with spouses and relationships, feelings of not contributing enough or not being appreciated, and we shared advice on teething, sleeping, and, of course, babywearing!
We glowed happily for Ainsley and Susan who missed the group today because they are home with their brand new nurslings, and we congratulated Susan’s husband and son who came by to visit. We welcomed Michelle who drove down to our meeting from Alabama, and who we’ve missed since she moved, and marveled at her growing girl. We were happy to see moms who haven’t made it for several weeks, and a new mom, too. We joyfully met with the moms who make it every week and who we look forward to seeing each Wednesday.
We had to disperse rather rapidly at the end as it had gotten late and everyone had to go but no one wanted to.
I’ve hardly been on the computer the past week. I haven’t blogged, I’ve let my messages and emails go stale, and I couldn’t take pictures because the old ones weren’t uploaded.
I did:
spend the Solstice with my daughters and some friends (aged 5 and 2). We made suns out of clay and out of tissue paper, and blew big, rainbow bubble spheres to dance around with.
clean my house and hide gifts for a daddy scavenger hunt.
have family over for a Father’s Day Party.
paint bookshelves, and color code our books.
rearrange the dining room for more crawling space.
I had a lovely, slow, non-technological kind of week. But I missed blogging about our last mom’s meeting, and I had a lot of messages to catch up on. The fact is that I love writing, love staying touch, and have an internet business to keep up with. I love technology too. The fact is, there just aren’t enough hours, so we juggle as best we can!
The end is a happy, thriving child; a relaxed, loving mama; and a strong bond between them. The means is the baby wrap.
Wrapping made mothering less stressful and more fun. Let’s face it, this society isn’t exactly tailor made for women with children. Sometimes it’s a pain to function with children in this society. Wrapping made it easier.
I love wrapping, and I love helping other moms and babies get wrapped up together. But lets be clear here, not wearing your baby is not a problem for me. If you think I looked at you askance when you said you didn’t want to wear your baby, it’s likely because I was trying (and failing) to imagine how that would work. I wasn’t passing judgment, just hoping it worked out!
When I promote babywearing, I am doing it because it can help moms. I believe we all want to keep our babies happy. This is the best and easiest way I know of doing it. So it helps babies, too, because babies are kept happier, easier.
In the US, we talk about babywearing enhancing the relationship between mother and baby. In Kenya, where strollers are not the norm, they worry that the introduction of the stroller “may damage the relationship between a mother and a child.”
The shift in viewpoint produces more dramatic language that specifically calls out the stroller as a potential danger. It’s interesting to note that even those of us who shun the device are colored enough by our culture to refer to babywearing–and not strollers–as the alternative, discussing babywearing benefits instead of stroller hazards.
“It’s just not Kenyan…For the child, the love will not be there if the child is cooped up in such an antisocial device.” Do we really want that description labeled “American” instead?
We nurse often, but we aren’t stuck at home because we happily nurse everywhere!
We cloth diaper, but we aren’t stuck at home because wet bags make it easy to cloth diaper on the go.
We EC (elimination communication) too, but with a potty in the trunk and lots of bushes and restrooms, that’s easy too.
We homeschool, but that takes us everywhere but home.
Yes, I have a five month old baby, but I’m not stuck at home. Thank goodness for my wrap!
I can go anywhere with my baby without the limitations of a stroller.
In the wrap we can nurse while shopping, wading, chasing, and reading books in the children’s section of the library.
While wrapped up, Belle doesn’t pee, so it’s easy to take her out when we are near a public restroom and let her pee before slipping her back in the wrap.
Wrapped up, Belle can eat and sleep on demand–so we don’t need to schedule our activities around nap time.
Because she’s wrapped up, I have my attention free to point out to my five year old the seahorses at the aquarium. And you know what, Belle doesn’t have to wait until she’s tall enough to see them too!
2.5 months old, Belle nurses in the wrap while I push Ada and her friend Mia on the swings
In wrapping news, Lindsay got a water wrap, Julie’s going to buy Lindsay’s Christiane EllaRoo, Ainsley and Evan are deciding which Bali Baby Breeze to get, Anna bought my Earthy Rainbow Girasol, I bought Tina’s mystery organic wrap, and Tina’s going to sell her short EllaRoo and buy a Bali Baby Breeze. Wow!
Amanda’s son’s little legs turn blue when she puts him in most any baby carrier so she and I played with the Front Wrap Cross Carry, experimenting with spreading each of the three passes of the wrap over his body AND legs so that his legs are not hanging out, and there is no part of the wrap that is crossing tightly over his calves. Momma and baby were comfy and happy in the carry, and it doesn’t seem that there should be any disturbance to his circulation, so we’ll call that one a success! This versatility for problem solving is my favorite thing about wraparound carriers, unlike other carriers that are shaped to be worn a certain way and that’s it.
Front Wrap Cross Carry with the legs covered
Anna wanted to wrap up Naomi who was sleeping on her chest in her arms. Anna knows the Front Cross Carry but I showed her the Front Wrap Cross Carry–easier to tie on while holding your baby–and she got her new Earthy Rainbow on. Stunning!
Sleeping newborn getting wrapped up in Earthy Rainbow Girasol
I wanted to show Nancy the Front Cross Carry. She had used the Front Wrap Cross Carry with Michelle when she was younger but now Michelle is not enjoying the wrap. I think if Nancy does a pretied carry like the FCC, and Michelle does not have to put up patiently with the wrapping process, she might settle down happily in the wrap. It’s an experiment that was postponed because in order to pretie our carries, we both had to put our babies down, and our babies were adamantly and affectionately attacking each other in an alarming fashion. Every time we got started with the wraps, we had to drop them to dive for the babies!
Susan brought two traveling Ellevill wraps, which was exciting for me as I had never touched one before. The pattern is exquisite, and I really dug the colors too: dusky rose and mossy green! They were thin and floppy and comfy for the short time I wore them. Annabelle fell asleep in one and I hated to take it off when it was time to leave!
rucksack in short Ellevill
Front Cross Carry in the green Ellevill
All of that was very much in the background, however, and the bulk of the meeting was the lively discussion, reassuring moms about post partum hair loss, advising on lying down nursing techniques, recommending cloth diapers and how to try them out without a big financial commitment, discussing everything from the state of mind of a laboring woman to tiny testicles to cradle cap.
We also opined on the purpose of our group, the people we’d like to reach out to, and the difference we want to make. Some of us are living natural mothering out on the fringe, and others are following a more mainstream course. I think the conclusion was that we wanted to include anyone who wants to parent peacefully and with respect, and we really want to draw in new mothers and first time pregnant moms and surround them with peaceful, practical mothering practices so that they do not feel that they are caring for their new babies in a void.
As a result of this talk, I edited my page about this Moms Circle to reflect that we are not here to promote specific practices so much as to validate each woman’s innate knowledge and offer advice to support what works best for her and her baby. I am very proud to be a part of this group and feel that we are helping a lot of moms–myself included!
We went swimming in our friend Darlene’s pool last week and she took some pictures of Annabelle and I in the water wrap. I tied it in a front cross carry, with the tie behind her back instead of under her legs. And Darlene put Audrey in their new Alice Bali Baby Breeze wrap!
It is true of all human babies that they must be able to breathe. This is true in arms, in bed, in wraps, and in cars. Always and everywhere.
Usually there is no difficulty. But in the case of a very young infant, especially premature or weak infants, extra care is wise as the baby may not be able to move their head to get a clear breath, or to move away any obstruction. They are entirely dependent and should ideally never be out of sight.
I love a baby wrap for keeping your baby always under your attentive eye. What you should be looking out for is that the baby’s face is always clear–not covered by cloth or blankets or anything else; and the baby’s neck is straight–not doubled over with chin close to chest.
When using a cloth baby carrier, make sure it holds the baby in such a safe position and that you can see your baby’s face.
When putting your baby down to sleep make sure it is on a firm surface with nothing nearby that can end up covering your baby’s face.
When baby is being held, maintain their position so that their necks are not overly bent.
When baby is in a car seat, try to keep baby’s head from folding down into an unsafe position. When possible, have an adult where they can see the baby, and do not use the car seat more often than necessary.
Any recommendation that slings and baby carriers be avoided is not necessary when parents understand how to safely care for their infants in AND OUT of carriers. The rules for breathing are the same.  Please comment with any questions you may have about this. I teach safe babywearing locally, and will be happy to let you know of any babywearing classes I may know of in other areas.
a few weeks old . . . face clear, head tilted upward
Chances are, if you are pregnant with your first baby, you’ve daydreamed about what it’s going to be like to hold your baby, wondered what kind of personality your baby will have, even speculated about what your baby will grow up to be. But I bet you haven’t considered whether or not you will “let your baby cry it out.”
In the milky haze of pregnancy, all my thoughts were rose-tinged baby toes, cute-as-a-button noses, and the perfect fit of baby to mother. I wouldn’t have dreamed of sitting unhappily in the living room listening to my baby cry in the other room, and I don’t think any mother goes into it with this in mind.
You don’t have to and your baby shouldn’t have to, either.
While deciding not to co-sleep is not simultaneous with letting your baby cry, choosing to co-sleep precludes the concept most decidedly. When your baby is with you, your baby will never have to cry for you. It’s that simple. It’s a very small, tremendously compelling reason to choose co-sleeping.
Last night Barefoot Birth hosted a Night of Babywearing at the Labor of Love birth center in Lakeland, Florida. I was late, and missed the other carriers being played with, but I brought my big basket of wraps for everyone to play with and Annabelle helped me show the people what we do with them.
It’s always tough to decide which carries to demonstrate as the wrap can be used in hundred of ways, and every mother-baby dyad has their own favorite that works best for them. So I try to pick the ones that are likeliest to work best and come easiest for the most people.
I picked the Front Cross Carry, because it’s easy to pretie and pop baby in and out of, and it’s easy to adjust for nursing. That made the FCC my favorite newborn carry (and this was a largely pregnant crowd), and it’s still my favorite now that she’s five months old. The Front Wrap Cross Carry can be easier for a newbie to get snug and tight, but the two advantages I mention to the FCC make it worth practicing a few times until it’s perfect.
Annabelle was desperately hungry, so we demonstrated nursing, and while she nursed we talked about leg positioning, and safe babywearing to ensure your baby can breath. One of the benefits of babywearing is that your baby is never left unsupervised!
For a back carry, I chose the Rucksack Carry because it’s easy to understand and remember. Then someone asked for my favorite carry and I demonstrated the Double Hammock Back Carry.  I love the Double Hammock!
Annabelle took a bathroom break and when we came back, we were pressed for a quick explanation about elimination communication, and Belle got a round of applause from the admiring folks. As an EC’ing parent, it’s always difficult to decide whether to reveal that all babies are able to communicate their elimination needs, or to just accept it when people attribute advanced skills to my baby . . . “Yes, it’s true, she is a genius, a prodigy, and NASA is already working to secure her cooperation for some advanced research projects . . . ”
Then the mommas got to play with the wraps–it’s the best part!
Tonight Annabelle and I showed some moms how to wrap their babies. Altogether TOO much fun! But somewhere amidst the flurry of fabric, co-sleeping came up.
A mom (Hi, Lee Anne!) wanted my take on co-sleeping. I told her how convenient it is, how cuddly, even how it contributes to ecological breastfeeding. But I felt like I hadn’t really put my finger on the importance of co-sleeping, and now that I’m home, I realize what I was missing.
Human babies are designed to be with an adult human constantly. Mostly the mother, for obvious reasons, but they need us for a lot more than sustenance. Their bodies grow stronger when they are being held, and likewise their emotional constitution. Their bodily functions are regulated by ours, learning rhythm, even remembering to breathe, by proximity to our more experienced lungs. Their muscles gain tone and balance by the stimulation of being held against our working muscles going about our daily tasks.
This is not mere fancy, on my part. Studies show miraculous interrelations between mothers and babies, from the mother’s bodily temperature adjusting in response to her baby’s need for temperature regulation, to the sensitivity gained from sleeping beside her tiny offspring.
Babies aren’t designed to be alone.
And so, many of the benefits of babywearing are shared by co-sleeping. Keeping your baby close means a happier, healthier, stronger, safer baby. It means a more relaxed, confident, peaceful, and fulfilled mother.
A lot of our questions overlapped today, which is handy for fitting everything in. Tina and Ainsley wanted to know about discipline for their older girls, and how to handle behavior that seems inappropriate without behaving inappropriately themselves . . .
. . . and, how to answer family members who tell us we’re doing it all wrong! A lot of us had some strong opinions about that. In fact, I came right home and wrote the post below this about my spoiled baby as a rebuttal to the very notion of family members implying that love and attention could spoil anyone! Susan had a great point that trying to convince people just invites more debate, whereas flatly stating, “I’m the mom and these are the choices I am making for my children,” is the most effective way to put a stop to the criticism.
And the discipline question? Evelyn shared her experiences and the results with her now grown children. Several of us had similar experiences. In a nutshell, firmly forbidding our young children to do something has proved ineffective, while taking care of the needs children may not realize they are acting out about, and working to restore the connection and communication between parent and child, have always improved behavior and relationships.
At what age do children learn to mind their parents, Ainsley optimistically asks. Ha! Human beings naturally rebel against being controlled as we want to control ourselves. Turns out children are human beings! So, it’s continuing to create a safe, close, and loving relationship that lessens rebellion and promotes “minding.”
Amanda came to our group for the first time with her gorgeous daughter Naima and had plenty to share herself, while asking for help with her baby wrap, and ideas for continuing to co-sleep with her little miss bed-hog. She got both, the former from Lindsay who helped her and Naima get into a killer Front Cross Carry in their BB-Slen wrap, and she suggested her own co-sleeping suggestion–turning her baby’s as-yet-unused crib into a sidecar for more room.
Tawny and Susan reassured Anna on her newborn’s breastfeeding quirks and advised Amanda to hand express milk to relieve engorgement instead of pumping, which would just encourage her body to continue overproducing. Although a happy byproduct of that oversupply was some pumped milk for Susan to bring to a local mom in need of milk for her baby.
Anna worried about her baby crying on car rides and there was a lot of sympathy from those of us who have been there (or are still there). Lots of suggestions, and things to try, and assurances that this too shall pass.
I love this carry, which is also called the Chunei Back Carry. It is easy, secure, gives the baby a view, and my all around favorite wrap carry. Check out the new instructions and give it a whirl!
And let me know if there’s anything that I need to clarify. I aim to serve!
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